Day 310

Yesterday was all good. I enjoyed the service as Fr. Bernie has a great sense of humor and had a conversational sermon. He reminded me of the Cursillo experiences and I’m grateful for that memory. They went all out for lunch with tons of delicious food followed by a beautiful carrot cake. Today will be a repeat of yesterday afternoon with rest and naps. The cold doesn’t get better or worse, just hangs there. I want to clean house for the new year.

Day 309

The center was overly busy again so I went to help out for a couple hours. I felt useful and glad to be part of the solution. Today is the joint church service with St. Timothy’s in Brookings. I will ride with Katie. I’m looking forward to being part of the congregation and following the service, they are making lunch for us .The next two days are free of agenda and I’m ready for naps and downtime. The cold symptoms are still there.

Day 308

Woke up with cold symptoms. Hope my immune system kicks in and kicks it out. The center was busy yesterday because the national park office was shut down. All their visitors came and we don’t know as much about hiking and camping. Sarah helped as she is a hiker. I listened to her and learned. Today I want to stay home. Maybe a walk later when it warms up. I’m ready to turn the page on 2018. Looking forward to starting over again.

Day 307

Yes, We had Mexican lunch at our favorite spot in Smith River. It was delicious. I found a new shirt and a few small items but no big stuff. It is always fun to spend time with Hollie. Today is CofC and that’s all. It’s cold so I’ll wear a sweater as it is often chilly in the center. The ham and bean soup turned out great after cooking all night. Later I will relocate half of it into the freezer. Moving forward.

Day 306

I walked to the party, mingled, hugged, laughed, had connections and memories that surprised me. It was enjoyable and felt close and warm. I have said No so often that I have missed out on so many social events that I don’t want to miss any in the future. Today I’ll go to Brookings with Hollie. My choice was clean the house or go out. I’m planning to look for good sales at Freddy’s and maybe a Mexican lunch. The housework will wait.

Day 305

Hollie and I walked to the beach, cooked, drank beer, ate ham and yams. It was a different kind of day and it worked just fine. Megan went south and Chuck can’t eat since all his teeth were extracted. Today is Doug Minty’s birthday party at SeaQuake. I’m looking forward to socializing so I must be past the flat line energy. My leg is working so much better and I’m grateful for it. Now I can get my health routine in place again.

Day 304

Pouring buckets, blowing, cold, and there Hollie and I were buying our ham and yams. That was it for moving yesterday. Went to bed instead of church. I want my life back on normal. I want to walk and exercise and feel like socializing. My “it’s not a Christmas present” is a pair of red fuzzy socks. Yeah. My favorite.  Hollie’s was a bag of Gouda cheese. Her favorite. Now we will cook up a simple meal and enjoy a quiet day together.

Day 303

Yesterday was an upgrade. Cleaned the kitchen and bathroom and swept floors. Felt good to notice the need. MP was okay. Some conversations during coffee and then  home to sit again. Today Hollie and I will shop for dinner items. Maybe ham. We enjoyed it last year. Meg will fix her famous Brussels sprouts. It is pouring, blowing and cold so I doubt I will get out for a walk. Probably won’t go to church for carol singing if Fr. Tom doesn’t come.

Day 302

I could write blah 83 times and sum up yesterday. Spent energy looking for something mind numbing to stare at. I will go to morning prayer as I need to push my way out of the house. I don’t feel old often but now that seems to intrude on my mind. I’m not one to give up and I guess I have to wallow until I can’t stand it and then move. The lack of exercise and walking are contributing to the depression.

Day 301

Thankfully the chore at the CofC was the mindless stuffing of invitations into envelopes which I could do with my flat energy. Later Megan and I walked to Rumiano’s for cheese and chips and that was refreshing. I enjoy her company and she is also grieving the loss of a friend. She had hoped he was the One and then he revealed himself in a way she could not accept. Clean breaks are the most humane way for both parties. Today will improve.

Day 300

The good intentions lasted about half an hour. Didn’t get dressed. Didn’t talk out loud.  Did nothing. Today must be better as it will start with dog spa visit, and groceries. The refrigerator is empty again. Then I will go to the CofC for my volunteer duty. I tried to write yesterday and stopped after recording the date. Had dreams about the writing class with anxiety. I couldn’t find the materials. The place was wrong. They were  high school kids instead of veterans.

Day 299

Yesterday was awful. No energy, No motivation. Followed by an achy night. Is this muscle strain ever going away? All I want for Christmas is a brisk walk without making noises. Today I want to start over beginning with nutrition. Off to the grocery store with good intentions and staying away from the chips etc. Junk food feeds the depression and adds to the problem. I will stay out of the comfort zone, maybe put on music and dance. Maybe read a book.

Day 298

Both walks to the CofC were strenuous and I enjoyed the effort. I was soaked on the way home and put on dry sweats for the rest of the day. Time is weird and elongated. I wish it was next month already. Today I want to eat bean soup, my go to food when I’m feeling unwell.  I will get out for a walk as the rain is gone for a while and I need the exercise to reduce stress. Life goes on.

Day 297

Another wild day. I’m glad Kelle cancelled her visit as we usually spend our time walking and shopping in Brookings. My condition is not open to managing a houseguest. The loss of Carol, the sore leg, seasonal depression, and a cold. Egads. Don’t ask me to cook! I will venture out to the Chamber. It will be quiet but I need to get out of the house. It is too easy to sink into my chair and veg. Soon new minutes of light.

Day 296

I did not get dressed or speak out loud yesterday. Cold symptoms and a heavy heart kept me deep in my chair with two dogs for warmth. Watched the science channel and napped. This morning I feel like getting on with Monday. Already have the laundry going and routine is soothing. My leg is better, not well, but more useful. I will move today and find comfort in nature . I want to see the ocean roiling and throwing itself on the rocks.

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Day 295

Spent time with Angela and Jave as they cleaned out Carol’s house into a U-Haul van. They are taking things they want and planning to have a house-sitter until the house goes on the market in the spring. I took boxes of her books for the museum. The sale of her books will go to the Ruby Scholarship. They are in business-like mode and had lots of support from friends. Both have jobs and families to get home to today. Feeling the loss.

Day 294

The wind and rain did help bring mindful walking. My raincoat made a sail out of me and I walked sideways for a while. Ivan offered to take me to the chamber but I wanted the effort. It was a quiet day there. Coming home I felt restless and like I needed to be doing something and had nothing to do. I have not contacted Carol’s family. They know where I am and if I can assist them I trust they will call.

Day 293

Yesterday was kind of flat with no energy or motivation. The seasonal depression and Carol’s death have sucked out forward motion. Karen helped my knee with her magic massage. That was the high point in the day. Julia came and paid her debt. I’m proud of how she has come back from her misadventure and has worked on herself too. Today is CofC and I’ll walk in the wind and rain. Maybe my emotional clouds will clear with the effort. Life goes on.

Day 292

Carol was in ICU with all kinds of measures to help her fight the sepsis but to no avail. She died at 8PM with her children by her bedside. I was there in the morning with her and when the family arrived, I left. Carol has long been my friend and image of creativity and grace. I respected how she lived her life. The sepsis was caused by an undiagnosed UTI. As I am prone to that condition I will be extra attentive.

Day 291

When I took the key for Carol’s house, I knew that I might have to use it in an emergency and that happened last night. Fortunately, Scott came to get it, and open the door for the ambulance people. Carol was on the floor and had been for some time. I won’t know how she is until later. She needs to move to her daughter’s Seattle home for safety although she will fight to stay. She is extremely frail and Angela wants her.

Day 290

The dinner was fun and the thoughtfully personalized gifts were proof of our value to the Chamber of Commerce. My gift was a shopping bag and a gift certificate to Wild Rivers market. Today is board of supervisors meeting and I will stay to the end in case of dramatics again. I will make my time line to Kevin and the rest of the day is open. Walking is somewhat easier. Down to a dull pain and the leg will hold my weight.

Day 289

After church everyone wanted to be close together. Usually two or three people sit at two or three tables. Yesterday we kept adding chairs until everyone was in one place. It was warm and friendly. The same thing happened at the museum meeting. Tables were pushed together and everyone was in one place. Interesting. I like being part of both groups. Later, the CofC volunteer dinner and I’m wondering if it will also have the cozy feeling. I will miss the Dem meeting.

Day 288

Five meals and five naps and yesterday was finally over. Wallow and then climb out of it. Today Linda Lee is leading the service, preaching, and singing a song she wants us to learn. Then a Historical Society general meeting complete with Christmas cookies and ice cream. At least I will be out with people and not sitting with dogs and TV. I will call tomorrow about my knee. It’s been a month and I still can’t walk comfortably. Time for more information.

Day 287

A handful of Christmas tree permits were given and that was it for the visitors’ center duty. Walking is still painful and I’m afraid that it is more than a muscle strain. The persistent pain is in the inside of my knee. Oh lordy, I don’t want knee problems. I’ll see Brad again to check but then maybe an X-ray or MRI. It’s dark and raining and I’m glum. Not enough restful sleep and too much alone time. Seasonal depression may have landed.

Day 286

Minnie had some extractions and cleaning for $625.43. I have anti-biotics and pain medication for her. She will feel better when she heals. I’ll feel better when my leg heals too. It’s persistent and I know it’s because I push myself. This month of no exercise and slow pace plus too much time in the house has probably netted me a weight gain. Carol was better than I expected and I’m grateful. She is walking again. CofC today and it will be quiet.

Day 285

Minnie can’t believe that I’m not going to feed her breakfast. She has a vet appointment for a teeth cleaning and has to go without food and water. Love my dogs and Dachshunds are notorious for bad teeth. I refuse to brush their teeth so we have to go to the vet for big bucks.  Later I will visit Carol. She is in terrible physical condition. She will fly to Seattle for the holidays and I will tend to her papers and mail.

Day 284

My poor old leg is creaky this morning but usable. I can rest more today except for filling the green bin I have no agenda. Probably find some nook or cranny to inspect and sort. The Kitchen Queen is up for a clean out. Lots of old unused stuff in it. Yesterday was okay. Quiet at the CofC with only a few visitors for Christmas tree permits. Steph says I will have to do keys and codes for the writing class. Oh well.

Day 283

I pushed myself yesterday and today I’m using the cane. Overdid a bunch, knew it while I was doing it. I can’t complain when I did it to myself but it will make my day less enjoyable.  The refrigerator is full and I had a good dinner of vegs and chicken. Today is CofC followed by a conversation with Steph about the writing class. She has posters for me to distribute and I have questions. I’m looking forward to it. I need stimulation.

Day 282

Didn’t go to church. Took a short walk instead. Then Karen came and we went to Rob’s dispensary sale and I bought CBD to stockpile. We walked through the holiday fair and saw all the booths and displays. Lots of visiting along the way followed by a pint of agate at Port O’ Pints and a trip to the gorgeous ocean. Lovely day. Today I  have errands and shopping that I can’t put off any longer. Need basic food supplies and bill paying.  

Day 281

The holiday fair was fun. Lots of catch-up conversations and new friends too. I’m glad to be part of it. Then I grabbed up Megan and we had fish and chips while she told me about her X-Box games. I investigated the phone and made new ringtones for everybody. Today is church with Morning Prayer and I must buy groceries if I’m going to eat. I can walk okay if I don’t hurry as that angries up the leg. Life is positive connections.

Day 280

Cold wet morning that arrived early thanks to Minnie. She walked all over me at 4. Makes an extra long day. It’s the community holiday bazaar and I will be in the museum booth. It’s a fun duty as I see so many friendly faces. We sell a lot of books and ornaments with an ocean theme. That’s all the agenda for December 1. Later, another restful time with my leg healing fine. Soon it will be a memory and lesson in patience.

Day 279

Computer is back in place with a clean bill of health. Learned a hard reboot on the fitbit, had the thermostat replaced, played with the phone, all is well. The CofC was quiet except for Christmas tree permits and a group photo that included all the board members and volunteers. . Now I’m snugging in for a wet cold afternoon with left over turkey soup and two dogs, and fuzzy blanket. I have a full life with positive connections that give me purpose.

Day 278

The tech will pick up the tower later and bring it back tomorrow. I have business for the new phone and that will require a trip to the cell store. Minor shopping and dusting for story group. I’m going to share an old story about the trip to the dentist that ended up with the sheriff reading my journal. I noticed that I still have a sore spot about that invasion of my privacy. Walking is achy slow and I do it anyway.

I had a 9:45 dental appointment on a Wednesday morning. I told the museum manager that I would be late for my 10 AM volunteer duty, and that I hoped to get there by 10:30. She forgot. There I was having a new crown fitted in perfectly oblivious that a storm of activity was going on. My phone rang three or four times but of course it went unanswered. Then I was finished and walked to the museum. I was met by Rick who said, Where have you been? At the dentist. We were so worried that something was wrong that Karen is out looking for you. A deputy sheriff came in and asked me my name. I told him. He said scanner land was looking for me. Karen called my daughter Hollie at nine minutes after 10 and upset her. When she arrived here, Jon and Chris were sitting on the couch as Karen had knocked on their door to ask for help. Then a deputy sheriff came in the house and looked all around the house and yard, including reading my journal that lay open on the kitchen table. Meanwhile Karen had driven up and down streets, stopped people, gone into stores asking if anyone had seen me. She made more stops than Paul Revere. Hollie knew that I kept a calendar and when she looked she saw the dental appointment listed and called the office. I had just left for the museum where I was accused of making Karen’s life miserable by scaring her. Wait a minute, I went to the dentist, that’s all I did. At home, Chris told me the deputy had even looked in the closets and she saw him reading my journal to see if I had left a suicide note. Karen told the story over and over with herself as the hero and me as the villain. The intrusion left a bruise on my sense of privacy and took away any kind of trust in Karen as a manager.  Finally I had enough of her story telling and let her know how it had affected my life. It took a while to get over it with her multitude of teary apologies and obsequious behavior toward me. I tried to see it from the point of view of the total stranger, the trained officer, and wondered what he knew about me from coming into my home. It was months before I opened my journal again and to this day I cannot leave it open on the kitchen table.

Day 277

Computer glitch for the second time: blank screen. Turned it off and on and it came up. I will find a tech today as I need my computer access to the world. It’s raining and I’m kind of glad that I have to stay in again. Darn leg is not helping with my comings and goings. It’s been almost three weeks and it’s still not well. I’m comfortable with the new phone. It’s connected to the fitbit and the few apps I use..

Day 276

I had five stops to fill my list and my leg worked well enough to do it! Plus nine conversations!!!! That makes it an exceptional day and the aching later was a small price to pay. Walking is my world connection and losing that ability is like being caged. I know I pushed it but today I’ll be quiet. I haven’t picked a subject for writing yet. I have loved and lost a lot and it will probably be a sad dog story.

Day 275

I came home from church, ate soup, curled up and dozed for two hours. Just not feeling well. This morning I’m much better except for the danged leg pain. Later, Della has a vet appointment at 9:15 and Minnie is going at 2:15. I can’t cope with both of them at the same time. It’s their annual exam and Della needs her prescription renewed. I have a bit of shopping and that’s it for agenda. Maybe write for Thursday’s Tea and Stories group.

Day 274

New phone but not without the usual learning curve tantrums. Thanks to my techspert Megan all the passwords are in place. I will get used to it quickly. The phone is like an appendage and I depend on it. My other appendage hurts. It’s been two weeks and the leg still doesn’t operate well. After a short walk I was flat and achy. Today after church with Fr. Tom, we will have a supervisory meeting with Linda Lee. I will rest after that.

Day 273

A full moon is peeking in the skylight. Thankfully the power came back in time for coffee! I did get out for a brief walk late yesterday afternoon . I feel caged by my hurt leg and the weather. It’s been two weeks since I injured it and another two weeks until it’s back to normal. Walking is important and I miss going out. All the left-overs have been distributed and now I get to make the turkey soup. It’s  my favorite part.

Day 272

In spite of the power outage, we had a fine dinner. We took the turkey to Megan’s gas stove plus her oven and all was well. It was chatty, fun, and felt close and warm between us. I’m blessed with Hollie and Megan. Today we will snack on turkey sandwiches and left-overs. More strong wind and rain today and I will stay inside and watch out the windows. Tomorrow Megan will go to the phone store and help me buy a new one.

Day 271

Short restless night and too early dog alarm. Don’t know what caused the barking and running around but night was over at 4 AM. This is a day when I want to feel energetic and I may have to fake it. Moon and wind with rain to come. At least we have and alternative oven in case of a power outage. I did shop phones and may have picked one. I want Megan to go with me as she always has good questions.

Day 270

We marched into Safeway and went quickly through our list and out in about fifteen minutes. Then we went to the cheese factory and filled the rest of the list. The CofC was quiet and our conversations are always interesting. Off to Karen for hot rocks and reiki treatment and I can walk a bit better. Today I will decide if I want to upgrade my cell phone. My modest use makes me wonder why I would take on the dreaded learning curve.

Day 269

A good sleep and I’m rarin” to go. Hollie will come and we will shop for our T-day dinner. Our menu is simplified and easy with the frills gone. I’m glad we do our uncomplicated holidays . I was quiet yesterday and had two short walks. The leg is not normal but improving. I’m going to Karen this afternoon and I know she will help the healing. I miss walking briskly. I appreciate how well I am and how connected to my life.

Day 268

Felt cold and unwell yesterday and did get out for a brief walk. Up many times in the night for quick trips to the bathroom. Finally turned on the heater. Might as well be as comfortable as possible under the circumstances. Now I’m feeling weary and unmotivated to do much more than snuggle under he blankets and watch reruns. I am usually so healthy that this feels like my body is rebelling about the sore leg. Darn. I want my vigorous self back.

Day 267

Yesterday was definitely R&R. Two very brief walks in the 48 degree day and I was back in my chair with dogs and blanket. I did fall into a bag of potato chips but first I made a delicious beef vegetable soup. Chips felt like part of the day off. My leg is somewhat better. It gets stiff later and the cold doesn’t help. I plan to go to church for Morning Prayer and hope to find something stimulating to occupy my mind.

Day 266

My head is cold. Lots of laughs about my hair at the CofC and it’s okay. I earned it. It was a quiet day with a few interesting visitors. My leg is still sore and it is better. Today I’ll give it the rest that I promised last Wednesday. I can use a puttering day as I noticed that my closet has items that are not used. Life is so informal that anything other than jeans and shirts is never off the hangers.

Day 265

The idea that popped into my head was not good. I walked into a salon and asked for a haircut and I am skinned! Fortunately my hair grows fast because I am cold with no insulation on my head. My DNA report came with no surprises: 27% Ashkenazi Jew, and the rest is Wales, England, and northern Europe. Lots of cousins and I don’t know what to do with that information. While the dogs are at the spa, I will refill the larder.

day 264

Brad said I have a hamstring strain and he bent and stretched my leg. Today I can walk with a minimum of discomfort.  Brad says I’m on my own with the option of visits as requested. Eileen was there and we had a good chat. I don’t see her often enough. Jesse says I have no spots of interest. Next derm appointment in one year. Today is open. No ideas have popped into my head but I’m sure I’ll come up with something.

Day 263

The BOS was interesting as the cannabis ban was lifted and a new ordinance read. Then came the drama that included Gitlin walking out. Oh my, the unprofessional tantrums. My sore knee took the fun out of walking. Don’t know what I did to cause the problem. This morning I’m going to PT and maybe Brad can help me. Megan brought Hallelujah with 1500 voices and we enjoyed it together. She is getting her adulating life in order. I’m very proud of her.

Day 262

Board of Supervisors meeting and the cannabis ban will be lifted! I know our three reasonable people will go with it. The two haters, well, they can sit and hate. Yesterday I filled the green bin with those big leafed weeds and cleaned out the car and the inside of the windows.. Two activities that have been on my mind. I met Carol and walked to the post office with her. Not much exercise but the value of our friendship is worth it.

Day 261

Thirteen people in church and I led just fine. I’ve done it often over the years and I like the acknowledgement. Being dependable is my place in the congregation. I had a long walk to the bay and back through the park. It was well populated by others enjoying this mild weather. I actually had pink cheeks from the warm sun. Today is a holiday Monday and I have routine items on the agenda. Must get the stretches and exercises done well first.

Day 260

After the parade, I came home and rested. My left knee began to hurt. I wasn’t aware of twisting it but this morning it is better. I’ll start the morning with a quick trip to Safeway for bananas and then prepare for leading Morning Prayer. I had an anxiety dream about it. I found strange people selling stuff in the church and had to move them out. There will be a tiny congregation and they are friendly and forgiving if I mess up.

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Day 259

The veteran’s day parade today and I will walk with the Democrats. First I have to get a bag of candy. Instead of giving to the kids, I’ll give it to old people. That’s all I have planned and am open to spontaneous events. Maybe a social opportunity will arise. Maybe find someone to join in a walk.  I want to be outside as long as the weather is so mild. I know the greenhouse needs attention and I need to plant seeds.

Day 258

We had a fine day with finding everything I wanted: CBD oil, new wok, a mirror from Good Will, great lunch at Chan’s. I enjoyed Hollie’s company and her patience. She made that day for me as she had no list at all. Later, tea and stories was wonderful with our blurbs. There is always something new to learn about each other. Today is CofC. I expect it to be quiet and will be happy if we are busy.  Ready for Friday.

Day 257

I’m ready to spruce up the house for story group before Hollie and I go to Brookings for a dink and poke kind of shopping trip. We are planning lunch at Chan’s and Megan wants a take-out dinner for her Trivia night.  Yesterday I signed a contract for the writing group and feel confident that I can give the veterans a way to write their memoirs.  I worked hard at PT. It’s amazing how fast my body responds to the stretches and exercises.

The prompt: Your life story is a best seller. write a blurb for the back cover

Sharon named her life story “Unpacking” as a hint of what she was ready to reveal about her life. From the beginning, she chronicles the obstacles that she overcame to become who she is now. There were health crises, emotional storms, gains and losses like all human experience. After all the high roads, low roads, detours, and dead ends, she ended up exactly in the place where she belongs. Once she was criticized for being “too content with an ordinary life.” Reading these pages will prove that her life has been anything but ordinary. Sharon has cast a wide net and found deep and meaningful relationships. Her search for a connection to spirit was fulfilled.

Day 256

Slow but interesting duty at the CofC. One hour of phoning at the Dem office. The election is over and our people and propositions did okay. I enjoy being part of the action. No point is sitting and worrying when there is something to do. I keep an oar in the water. Steph Wenning asked me to lead a writing group for veterans in January through March. I felt my synapses snapping at the stimulating prospect. I have been wanting a new project.

Day 255

Election Day. Here’s a prayer that the expectation of a blue tsunami comes true. After my CofC duty, I will go to the office and make phone calls to people who haven’t voted yet. The group will meet later for pizza and TV watching the results. I may not stay for the whole party as I get tired before 10PM. Now I can move the political signs off my lawn. I’m feeling better and sleeping better too. Makes a difference to my activities.

Day 254

The great domestic energy surge lasted until after church when I had an equal and opposite reaction and was flat for two hours! Then I recovered and walked to the store with Carol. Today I will drive the car, shop for groceries, and work in the greenhouse. Since the house is spiffy I can use my energy outside. I’m staying away from news and Facebook. The divisions and hatred are horrifying and scare me. I do what I can here in my neighborhood.

Day 253

My first phone calls were awkward but I did communicate my message. Lots of old numbers and out of service ones. I talked to a couple of humans but mostly machines. Felt good and left feeling that I had added to our quest for voter turnout. Megan and I had a Cobb sandwiches at Good Harvest and then I kicked back and relaxed for the rest of the day. Woke up zippy and had a totally clean bedroom and floors before 6 AM.

Day 252

Slow at the CofC. Tourist season is over. I slept much better. May be the spray that Karen gave me for anxiety and pain. This morning I will go to Dem headquarters and make phone calls to people who haven’t sent in their ballots. Hollie is coming too. I am part of the process and it’s a duty that I can do well. First the stretches and mat exercises. It’s especially important when I’m going to be sitting for a couple of hours.

Day 251

Joan prescribed the medication that I wanted and two doses are on board. I enjoyed the hot rocks. They warm my bones.  Karen does such a caring and intuitive massage. Today is CofC and with the help of AZO I know I can do my duty. I cancelled working the phones with the Dems later. Tomorrow I will be there and participate in getting the voters out. My immune system is strong and infection will not last. I need my activities and people.

Day 250

Thanks to AZO I had a decent day complete with a couple of walks. Had a test at the hospital at 4 PM. Hope to get a report soon as today the symptoms are back. I have an appointment with Karen for a massage this afternoon and don’t want to miss it. My immune system must be weakened by the anxiety that has been a bother lately. The collective mind must be struggling to shower positivity too. I’ll do my best get well.

Day 249

Yesterday was mellow and busy at the CofC. Then off to PT. Brad did some stretches that were more than I do for myself. He gave me new exercises and the main advice was get the core muscles tighter. It was what I wanted for my progress. I picked up dinner at Christina’s Mexican restaurant and I won’t do that again. Quiet evening led to restless and sick night. Now I have to deal with a UTI. I haven’t had one in years.

Day 248

Interesting Dem meeting all about getting ready for the election. High Hopes for change. I’m glad to be counted among liberal people. Today is CofC duty and that is always worthwhile. Later, I’m going to PT for Brad to monitor and correct my exercises. I want to add more to my routine to stabilize my lower back. I can’t get up from sitting position without pain especially getting out of the car. My body is willing to improve and I’m willing to work.

Day 247

After our usual intimate communion service with Fr, Tom, Linda Lee asked me to go for a walk with her. We went to the ocean along Pebble Beach and it was gorgeous. I enjoy her company. We find a wide range of subjects and talk up a storm. Today I have errands and later a Dem meeting to finalize the election activities. I have signed up to do calling Friday and election day. Good sleep and I’m rarin’ to get started with Monday.

Day 246

The last day of the farmers’ market was kind of sad. It was not the vigorous vendor filled venue because of the rain. We picked up vegetables and made the short trip around the booths then came home. Hollie had a wonderful meeting with Laurie. She needed the girl friend connection. Today is church with Fr. Tom and that is all. Maybe some spontaneous event will pop up. There is nothing I need to do and not motivated to do house sorting stuff.

day 245

I shook the dust from my paper journal. I need details that don’t fit here such as dreams. Felt good to take time for fleshing out my experiences. I do not like being defined by my age. Not as role model for aging. Why not acknowledge me for who I am without adding that.  Last market and I will go. Need vegetables and socializing. Later Hollie will visit. She has been away with Laurie and I hope she is filled with friendship energy.

Day 244

Tea and stories was full of deep sharing again. It is a gift for all of us. I had a night of dreams: finding my way back to a place where I belonged. It is a recurring theme. Asking for help along the way, seeking and never finding the Place. Today I will greet visitors and I enjoy that duty a lot. Still looking for new ways to fill my time. But first, the essentials to continuing my active and gratifyingly uncomplicated  life.  

Day 243

Housework day. Every day I make the bed, clean the sinks, and pick up items sot the house is always neat. Then the floors get attention. Today is tea and stories so I will have a clean and welcoming home. I exercised yesterday beginning with stretches, mat, and an attitude of appreciation for my body’s willingness to move. I walked twice, ate on the food plan, worked in the yard, the simple pleasures I enjoy. And I get to do it again today.

Prompt: describe a piece of furniture from your childhood

When I was about twelve years old we went on a trip to San Francisco. I don’t remember where my mother and brother were, but I was in Chinatown with my father. We walked by Sun Yet Sen park and my father said we were going to lunch in a special place. We went down a side street and into a long walkway. The place was called Hang Ah Alley. Inside I was overwhelmed by the display of Chinese art, lights, colors, sounds, and smells that were unfamiliar. We were shown to a corner table of black carved wood that was intricate and interesting. I rubbed my hands over the carvings of dragons, strange birds, and serpents on the chair arms. The chair had a high back and I did not want to lean on the carved wood. The whole scene was so different and so visually stimulating that I’m sure I stared around with my mouth open. I kept my hands on the carvings as though they were holding me in place. We sat and food was brought without any ordering. I remember a noodle dish that was lemony, full of water chestnuts, vegetables and meat that I didn’t recognize. It was a memory that I have fully intact. It was also my first experience with being a minority as we were the only white people in the place. It was also rare to have time with my father alone. 

Day 242

Day started with the full moon peeking through a scattering of clouds. So lovely. The rain yesterday signaled the change from brown lawn season to green lawn season. I sat on the front porch and enjoyed the rain. After the farmers’ market, I will fill the green bin from Megan’s yard. The artichokes are going. They were too much trouble for the small crop. If I try them again, it will be in containers. Lots of bell peppers still growing in the greenhouse.

Day 241

The word drawer is neat and orderly. The folders I have chosen to save are in hanging files. The old ones are gone to recycling. I reread “Unpacking” and need to update it with the changes since I wrote it. .I didn’t date it. I feel relief when I move unused items out of my life. Today the BOS agenda is brief and I hope it stays brief. I will attend and take notes. Later I need to restock my food plan menu.

Day 140

Linda did an outstanding job as leader and preacher. I sat with her mom who is a lovely woman. Later we visited while eating her yummy apple cake. Megan, Hollie and I walked to Wing Wah and had a family style meal that was delicious and had left-overs. On the way back we met Carol so I walked with her to Rite-Aid. Later I got the bug to clean out the “word” drawer. The recycle bin contains all my old columns. Good-bye words.

Day 239

Busy night for dreams. I like remembering them. Linda will sermonize this morning and she is bringing her mother.  Later, Hollie will come for a visit and lunch. I enjoy time with her as she is on my mind a lot. She must feel trapped in that tiny trailer in the midst of the junk yard and uncared for by her miserable husband, There I said it. I have thought it for years but since the fire he has shown his cruel nature.

Day 238

Tired start for Saturday. I kept waking up feeling anxious and tense. Had to breathe consciously and think happy thoughts. Nothing new showed up yesterday but  I’m paying attention. I have a bag of towels to take to a thrift shop. Maybe Purple Cat or Daily Bread. I keep cleaning out unused items that lighten my inventory and leave space. Carol and I talked about making sure we leave our business in order so there will be no family infighting. Sad necessary conversation.

Day 237

Up early for a chat with fitbit about the non-synching. I had to follow directions on the phone and find things I didn’t even know were there! It’s always stressful and I did it. Today I’m ready for something new. Maybe at the CofC today, a new project or interest will emerge. I picked up tiny leaves that will fit on the business cards for painting. Yesterday I talked with the cell folks about a new phone. The learning curve keeps getting steeper.

Day 236

Yesterday didn’t go exactly as planned. One of those days when I thought I knew what was going on and that wasn’t it. A migraine hit. I wore out most of it by late afternoon and did get to the produce and caught up with Ellen on the walk. Also a short walk with Carol. That was it. Instead of the Town hall meeting, I was in bed at 6PM. This morning I’m fine again and can get the errands and shopping done.

Day 235

Busy Wednesday. First thing today is a trip to buy a new router. I’ve been having a problem reaching familiar websites. The new one will fix that. The new fitbit is on my wrist after an easy transition. It gives more heart and sleep data. Tim brought the new washer pump and it’s ready to go. Later I will walk to the farmers’ market and grab up fresh produce. Then a long walk to pay the cable bill. Stretches and exercises already done.

Day 234

House slicking created a clean hall cupboard. All the sheet sets are stowed neatly and three drawers are empty. Most of the task was tossing unused items and putting the rest together compactly. Then Tim came to fix the leaking washing machine. Needs a new pump. Says it’s worth repairing. He’ll be back later. Today is CofC duty and I look forward to the visitors’ stories. Jeremy will come over and fix the annoying requests for passwords on this computer. Good day coming.

Day 233

Just wrestled the down quilt back on the bed. Two nights of feeling cold and the cotton quilt goes back in the closet. Had a deep conversation with Hollie after church yesterday. I value our closeness. She put the DNA information in the computer for me and it was accepted. Then a quick walk to the post office to send off the spit sample. Today is house slicking and taking care of my favorite rose bush that the gophers killed. They are everywhere.

Day 232

84degrees yesterday.. Today it will be hot again. I live here because it doesn’t get hot or cold. I like mild moderate weather. It’s already 70 at 6am so I’ll walk as soon as it’s daylight. After church, Hollie is coming to put the DNA test information in the computer. I messed up last time and had to start over. When I make a mistake, I let it erode my self-confidence. Then I go through a checking period until I feel okay again.

Day 231

Yesterday was enjoyable. The visitors were interesting and had stories to share. I like when they come in small groups and there is time have personal conversations. Later Rosalie and I had our favorite veggie burgers and talked for two hours plus a visit to the beach for soaking up the beautiful day. She said she does want to pursue our program after she finishes with editing to book that sprang from our product. Today I’ll walk to the farmers’ market by myself.

Day 230

I voted yesterday and felt excited about delivering my ballot as if I made a difference in the political outlook. Story group was about spiritual experiences. Carol revealed that Gene has been visiting her. Delia had a story and I mentioned Kim’s visits. I picked up leaves and plan to paint on the business cards. Today is CofC duty plus lunch with Rosalie. I’m looking forward to time with her and catching up. I’m hoping she will get interested in elder conversations again.

Day 229

I had a restless and unfocused day. I’m needy for a new interest or project. The meeting was well attended and the conversation was robust and directed. I’m glad to be part of solutions in my community. It was dark when the meeting closed and I forgot my flashlight so Chief Minsal brought me home. Today is house tidying and driving the car. I have a small grocery list and that’s all until story group. I’ll start out with stretches and PT exercises.

Day 228

The BOS was businesslike. No drama. I left before 12 and walked to church to connect with Linda Lee and see how the shower ministry was doing. Lots of helpers and only one homeless guy came to shower and get new clothes. Linda and I walked to Seaquake and had real conversations. The salad was delicious as always. Lots of friendly connections and quick hello minutes. Today I’ll attend the community conversation about homelessness. It is an issue that needs attention and money.

Day 227

I filled my need to have a product at the end of the day. I’m the one who tells other people that it is okay to have a day off once in a while and yet my work ethic doesn’t hear it. Today is BOS and if it is brief I can meet Linda Lee for a walk. It brings up my wish for a good friend. It takes history to grow trust. I’m feeling time short for developing more than work relationships.

Day 226

Gray Monday. No agenda except using my time and energy well. I admit that unstructured time evaporates into sitting with TV if I don’t get myself in order. First will be stretches and exercise on the mat. I have an appointment for more PT later this month and I want to be as fit as I can so Brad will add new moves. Keeping moving is my main objective so I can be productive and useful. House and yard will get attention too.

Day 225

My day by myself was only challenged by a couple of texts. Felt good to go without people. I had two brisk walks that felt wonderful and a sleep that was restful. Today Mother Leslie will be at church so communion will happen. Other than a quick trip to the store later, no agenda again. The orchids are watered. I’m trying to ignore the hideous political news. Makes me sad for Megan’s generation and glad that I’m at this end of my life.

day 224

Holy hot rocks. That was a special massage! Warmed my bones all the way through. Karen does a good job for my body. The CofC was quieter than expected. The car show people didn’t show up for information so we sipped coffee and ate pumpkin scones. The rain ruined the evening events and, hopefully, they had fun at the casino dance party. Today, no agenda. May or may not walk to the farmers’ market for Bosc pears. No interest in seeing the cars.

Day 223

Car is okay. The gas cap was not tight. I think the tank was siphoned. I may have to park in the hedge and climb out the passenger side. I got my senior flu shot and have a sore arm. Today is CofC and the bad news is that rain is due and it’s Sea Cruise weekend. It’s a big deal for the community. It’s also first Friday downtown so that will be an damp event. Later I’ll have a massage with Karen.

Day 222

Day 222

No A1C, yes to PT sessions, ear wax. Light on the dashboard that the engine needs service so I’m going to coast at 9 am. Randy messaged that he lost Annie. I met him at Battery Point and he talked for an hour. I didn’t like her and I’m sorry for his loss. He had seven dogs to get rid of and I gave him sources. Our history is unpleasant and I do want a relationship. I will not initiate but will participate.

Day 221

No museum duty and I’m feeling adrift. I need structure or I waste time. I have yardwork to do and greenhouse weeding but that’s all. I will see Joan later for a follow-up visit. I have a short list of questions about my health. Do I need A1C testing? May I have 3 sessions of PT? Can I get my senior flu shot? How are my ears and throat?  I may bring up my shortness of breath or not. I feel just fine.

Day 220

Time with Hollie is always satisfying and our activity made it even better. We ran into Larry who we haven’t seen for about 20 years! What a nice surprise and lots of hugs. I found four new tops and bought two pairs of jeans. We had lunch at the Mexican place in Smith River because Chan’s was closed. The Dem meeting was long, busy, and full of plans for the election. I will stuff door-hangers but will not precinct walk. I enjoy involvement.

day 219

Day 219

Hollie and I are finally going to Brookings to dink around. I have missed her and we can catch up today. I have a list for Freddy’s and also want to thrift shop and look for earrings to replace the lost loops. Later I’ll walk to Tracy for the final visit and then the Dem central committee for a meeting about the election. Right now I am also watering the orchids and charging the fitbit. Busy already on the first day of October.

Day 218

I walked better yesterday than I have in a long time. 6000 step walk followed by another later. Tracy and exercise are paying off. Today is Fr. Tom’s birthday so a cake will appear after the service. I like his sermons as they are social justice based on the lessons. He is my age and also active. I had a vertigo spell after doing a crossword puzzle. It scared me. Finally I closed my eyes and kind of napped. I was okay later.

Day 217

The visitors’ center was busy and interesting. I like having new questions that require research and thinking instead of the tape recorded instructions to Stout Grove. The city gave a barbecue downstairs and I asked Eric if city volunteers could come and he said “C’mon down.” So chicken and salad on the city. Couple of cool walks and lots of conversation made it a good day. Today I’m hoping to connect with Hollie. I haven’t seen her since she is subbing at JH.

Day 216

Visitors’s center today. I’m looking forward to going and being busy. I need structured time. I did shop yesterday and walk but time goes fast with nothing to show for it and my work ethic complains. When do I get to retire? What would days look like if I didn’t find volunteer positions? I need to develop a creative outlet. Maybe I’ll get the watercolors out again. Story group was perfect, as always. No matter who is here, it works for us all.

The theme was a short love story that ended badly

When Art and Ellen offered to help me have a greenhouse, I was excited. I always wanted one so I could have vegetables all year round. The space where I wanted it was lumpy, uneven ground that was full of years old weeds and old roots. There I was merrily singing and shoveling to level and clear the ground. It was work with joy at the prospect of having the greenhouse. They came with the frame and were surprised at how well the ground was prepared. Yes, I did it with my shovel and several trips to the chiropractor who joked that Medicare would probably take my shovel away from me. I ordered the cover that turned out to be a lot more expensive than I was first told but at this point my love affair with having it were overcome. Then the cover was installed, tied down and all was well. I wanted it done well so I covered the ground with wire mesh to keep the gophers out, garden cloth to keep the weeds out, and mulch for a finishing touch. Then I asked Shawn to build me a planting box. I told him the house was an eight foot square so he build the box 8X2X2. Well, the house was 7 foot 10 inches to the box wouldn’t fit until he found a way to pull the frame tubes out enough to work. Only now the door won’t zip closed. Art came and more adjustments and now the door will almost close. I’m willing to overlook the difficulties as I want this project so much. It took lots of bags of soil to fill the box and then I overplanted a lot. It was late in the season and I wanted to use it so there were plants in every part of the box and on the floor. The plants in the box were very happy and grew into a jungle that I had no way of taming. The sudden realization that I didn’t know what I was doing and now had this monumental mess was deflating my enthusiasm and I actually didn’t go in for weeks. Finally, I took a deep breath and entered ready to overcome the mass of green and bring order and hopefully bring back my desire to enjoy the process. I pulled out kale plants, carrots, chard, lots of spinach, beets, etc. thinning was done by the handsful of overgrown plants. Now I have a friendly relationship but the love went away with the lack of ease that I had wanted. I want a happily ever after so I am thoughtfully planning for next season.

day 215

Day 215

Getting on the mat revealed my forgetfulness. I had to work at how to do a couple of the exercises. It felt good. The routine will help my strength and endurance. Today is shopping and errands in the car. I want a new walking jacket and wet weather gear from Big 5. The grocery list needs to be filled and the car needs exercise too. Later, story group. I look forward to our gatherings and sharing. It is the highlight of the week.

Day 214

Jeremy found lots to clean out and update. I appreciate his expertise. The BOS was remarkably short and drama free. Today is the last museum duty of the season. Whatever will I do with another whole day at home. I need to discipline my routine so I use my time well. Later I will walk to Tracy for another chiropractic treatment. Should be the last one for this issue. I need to get back to the PT exercises. They keep my core  strong.

Day 213

My intentions disappeared in an energy sinking spell. One minute I’m up and the next minute I have nothing to work with. Don’t know why but there I was napping instead of acting. Today is BOS. The agenda looks small but that is no proof that the meeting will be short. The drama comes and takes up business time. Later, Jeremy is coming over to clean this machine and make it pep up. I ordered a new fitbit yesterday. I wrote the story.

Day 212

Huge bright moon peeking in the skylight. What a great omen for a good day. My plan it to walk to the harbor early, before the wind starts to blow, see the yachts, shop at Safeway on the way home, and do some housework. I need to clear out the greenhouse and plant beet seeds. There are carrots, peppers, beets and kale growing. I promised to keep a crop year around. I may write my short love story gone bad for story group.

Day 211

It was a slow day with napping all morning. Came to about 3 PM and had a couple of walks that helped clear the cobwebs from the headache. Slept well until Della got sick and I had to change the sheets. She is not doing well and it may be close to time to discuss her quality of life with the vet. Morning prayer followed by historical society ice cream social and general meeting. I may go as I enjoy seeing  the people.

Day 210

Woke up unwell. Headache and achy body. Tracy’s manipulation didn’t have the usual positive effect. I did sleep okay but don’t know about doing much today. I don’t want to waste a Saturday when Hollie and I usually do things together. I was planning to walk to the harbor and visit the Australians in their fancy yacht. They were among the interesting foreign visitors yesterday. I’ll take a couple of headache pills and hope for the best. The season change slows me down.

Day 209

Dog wash first thing. While they are being pampered, I’ll make a Walmart run for the monthly supply of peanut butter and paper products. Then it’s off to the visitor’s center for a busy Friday. Later, I’ll walk to Tracy for another chiropractic visit. Lunch, Cobb salad and a glass of blonde ale, with Karen was delicious and amusing. She calls me a pebble dropper. She told about her duty at Mountain school and the garden. I enjoy her company. I missed Rosalie.

Day 208

Museum duty was slow and I walked up and down a lot. I don’t like to sit. I will miss being there I need to fill the space. My TV went bonkers so I had a long chat with a tech and will be having a new cable box this morning. We were on the call long enough so that I know his life story.  I enjoy conversations with unseen service people.  Drive the car, grocery shop, clean house plus Seaquake with Karen and Rosalie.

Day 207

Yesterday was a very good one. I had conversations with interesting visitors. I like the quieter time so there is space for personal talk. I feel that I add to their visit by adding questions about their travel experience. Today is next to last museum duty and I hope have more stories from our guests. Later, farmers’ market. I’m not through with zucchini. Want cabbage too and maybe grab lunch at Rebecca’s kitchen. I like the chicken and rice noodles. Perfect walking weather.

Day 206

I felt change in the garden when I was pulling out the vines from peas, beans and tomatoes. The cold house in the morning that means heaters again. I feel anxious about something without a name. The anti-dote is getting busy physically: sweeping, dusting, exercise to get the nerves out of the body. Here is where mindfulness helps. Today is visitors’ center and that is always diverting and interesting. I need to have a schedule so I don’t sag into the comfort zone.

Day 205

After church I talked with Linda Segura about her AA meetings at Pelican Bay. I wondered if she ever invited An-Anon speakers to tell the stories from the other side of the relationship. She was planning to talk about co-dependency and enabling but hadn’t thought of partners. After the conversation, I had lots of memories both of the mess with Dave and the recovery. It was a difficult time and giving up the victim story was the hardest part. New week. Get busy.

Day 204

Yesterday I wondered if I need more parts in my daily life. Megan talked about the fun at Trivia night and the shared laughing. I wasn’t envious but it did make me think. I have never been involved in games except as a child with Chinese checkers or monopoly. I never learned card games and I don’t particularly feel comfortable  in public activities. Maybe my life is full enough. I know I depend on TV and dogs for company. I enjoy stimulating conversation.

Day 203

My back and neck are doing fine this morning. Tracy does a good job for me. Hollie will be by for our trip to the farmers’ market. I’m satisfied with simple joys. The duty at the visitors’ center was fun. Lots of questions and I have answers. It’s helpful that I have stories about our area to enhance their visit. I did a few watercolor cards for my payment  thank-yous. They look like a six year old made them. Quite a fun project.

Day 202

Megan shared her peach cobbler and ice cream and it was delicious. I completed the Thursday chores, drove the car, cleaned the house, and bought groceries, all normal activities. Story group was super. The theme was music. Carol brought her mantra CD, Laurie brought music that bonded her with father, and Delia told about concerts with Bob Kramer. The sharing is intimate. Then I did a tell/show about the business card sized thank-yous to send with my checks. A whole day of sharing.

Day 201

Story group will be the favorite event today. I will clean the house, drive the car, buy groceries while I look forward to time with my group. Much as I like my place on the Dem committee, I’m feeling that I don’t know enough to be useful. When I send my notes to them, I may miss the important stuff. Guess I will learn by listening and having feedback. As long as I’m willing to sit through that BOS behavior, I will serve.

Day 200

Tracy gave me relief. I noticed my posture was better and walking was easier. This morning I’m sore but mobile and ready for a good day. The BOS was four and a half hours of politics and some county business. What a display of rudeness. I will send my notes to the committee this morning. Ellen and Art brought tomatoes and Megan made pasta sauce. Art was clutching his heart pillow but looks surprisingly well. I enjoy my connections with friends and community.

Day 199

I woke up unwell again with the pain in my neck and headache. Went away with coffee except the remnants are with me. I will see Tracy this afternoon and hope he can help with chiropractic care . The Dem committee meeting was long and interesting. I learn as much as I can from showing up and listening. BOS this morning and I will take a long walk before the sitting spell. Not too enthusiastic and I’m sorry that I don’t feel well.

Day 198

Woke up okay. Still a little hangover from yesterday’s migraine. My neck is sore to the touch as is my head. I don’t get those often, thank god, but when I do it’s as if it has saved up for a big bang. Today is yard clearing. There is no rain in sight and it will rain and I want to be ready. Conversations with Megan and Kelle about the same subject: how to keep everything they want in a neat usable way.

Day 197

Woke up sick. The nagging little backache that I was able to walk out is now a full spasm pain plus neck and headache. I didn’t call Tracy on Friday when I thought about it and now I can put up with it. Just watering the orchids is trouble and I don’t know if I can even contemplate church. Darn it all. I like my healthy self. Yesterday morning was okay with the walk with Hollie to the market. Downhill in the afternoon.

Day 193

Interesting visitors yesterday made the effort worthwhile. I enjoy travel stories and like to engage in personal stories too. Many Canadian are traveling through. This morning the smoke is bad and we are going to the market together.  Maybe Bosc pears today. I’m still want squash, string beans, and cabbage. It is usually a social walk and that is my favorite part plus our family time. I’m glad my bubble is back in the middle. No idea why I had the horrible day.

Day 195

Yesterday did not improve: grumpy, frumpy, achy. Ate everything in sight as well as two bags of Australian licorice that is nowhere as good as Panda. Napped in front of TV.  I can’t pinpoint the tantrum but felt uncomfortable and unwell. I did walk and the air was bad too. I’m ready to regain my usual self and have a better day. I don’t like wasting a day but that was what it was. Today is visitor’ center duty and I need groceries.

Day 194

It’s drive the car day and I don’t want to. May turn it on and let it idle for ten minutes. Don’t want to grocery shop. Don’t want to tidy the house. All negative choices. What do I want? I’m going to sit here until I know. I want to go to Brookings and wander through the thrift stores, have lunch at Chan’s, and come home with ideas. I want a friend to go places with so I don’t always depend on Hollie.

Day 193

Today is museum duty plus whatever comes up. I will walk to the farmers’ market after duty for vegs. I need a bunch of fresh stuff for my food plan since my own plants have given up for the season. I do love going out and picking things and eating them immediately. I enjoyed the visitors yesterday. Still lots of traveling and there were several Canadians with interesting stories. Tenaya brought smoked salmon that she caught with a net. I won’t share it.

Day 192

I cleaned and cleaned outside plus cleaning my bedroom too. Then I sat. It was a cold night. I’m guessing that if I put the down comforter back then we will get our Indian summer and have warm nights. Oh well, it’s okay to pull up the spread when I get a chill. Busy dreams. All positive about sharing and family feeling. Woke up ready for another busy day at the visitors’ center and my home. The garden shed is next for cleaning.

Day 191

Best part of yesterday? Walk, talk, and lunch with Hollie. I need to see her at least once a week. She is important to me. Church was its usual family feel. Must be like the early church when folks met in homes for simple services. It meets my needs for ritual. Today I will weed in Megan’s’ yard. I can fill the wheelbarrow in minutes from there. The deck is full of weeds growing through the cracks. Might pull the pea vines down.

Day 190

Another long night after a busy day with activity and people. I enjoyed being part of the dem barbecue. It was efficiently and compatibly set up and taken down. Everyone had a duty and they were good at doing it. Early this morning Karen came and we took a lot of tiny gravensteins from the neighbors’ unthinned apple tree. She will make and can applesauce. It’s too much for me. Who else has a friend who wants to midnight requisition free organic food.

Day 189

Long sleep after a tiring day. Busy at the center followed by emotional time with Julia confessing to being scammed for $6K by her on-line man friend. She sold her car, her furniture, everything for him. She is humiliated and heart-broken. Today is the Dem barbecue and Hollie will go with me and help out. She and I like to do things together. Last year the smoke was down to the ground and miserable. Better today and I’m looking forward to the event.

Day 188

No story group so Carol and I took a walk instead. She likes to get her steps. Long Dem meeting. Candidates for school board were interviewed and there were issues with one of them. It will be interesting to see how that turns out. I learned a lot about the process. Today is visitors’ center. I’m expecting that it will be busy because of the holiday weekend.  Then the number will dwindle and the duty becomes less appealing. Life is full of  changes.

Day 187

Long restless night with dreams about disasters and a short one about mom wanting bourbon. I rarely dream about her and she was demanding attention. Today I will drive the car, buy groceries, host story group, and attend a Dem meeting. The yard also needs attention. I took out a kale plant as it was buggy. Must pick peas and beans again as they are doing well. It is time to replant beets in the greenhouse. I want beets and carrots all winter.

Day 186

Gray, damp. Looking forward to museum duty. I’m hoping for interesting visitors and lively conversations. I will send off BOS notes in a few minutes and ask members to list talking points from the recall the gas tax people. We need the tax. No drama at the meeting and I left early for my massage with Karen. I asked her to work on my head and it felt wonderful. Meg made a beautiful dinner from the garden. The short unproductive season is over.

Day 185

Yesterday started with vigor and cleaning occurred. The back porch is shiny as is the kitchen. Then the green bin was filled with weeds from Megan’s yard. Picked peas and beans too. Later, Ellen came and I listened for two hours about her problems with Art and the health care system. Driving is not comfortable for her and I am the same way. I would not like the drive to Medford either. Later still, Megan vented about her boss and doing his work.

Day 184

The conversation with Betsy was productive. It pinned down the values we have as a congregation. The bottom line: inclusive acceptance of newcomers, the community, and the whole county. There were examples of outreach and service. I waited for Ellen to visit. She is upset about Art’s heart surgery and is taking it personally. She didn’t show up or text so I don’t know what’s going on. It’s smoky again this morning. Cuts down on walking.  I don’t want my lungs to ache.

Day 183

The sun is up and it’s the right color. No fog or smoke. Priest Betsy from the Bishop’s office will be at church and we are expected to meet after the communion service to talk with her. I keep wondering how long they will let our little congregation survive. Ellen is home. She says Art is not responding well to the meds after his heart surgery. She acts angry but I’m guessing she is afraid of taking care of him, the yard, etc.

Day 182

The sun made a brief appearance yesterday and it was a welcome sight. It’s foggy again this morning. Later, Hollie and I will walk to the farmers’ market as is our summer ritual for vegs and fruit. The visitors’ center was interesting because the travelers had amusing stories. That’s the best part of the duty. It is slowing down and soon the number will decrease even more. Older people travel after Labor Day when the kids are back in school. So goes summer.

Mid –year inventory

Notes from the daily log and not in any particular order

Too many entries about low energy, blah attitude, feeling cold and slow. Need to work on remembering the days of powering through with vigor and enjoyment’ Lots of walking, sporadic PT exercising. Sometimes I put the mat down and then pick it back up. I know I need to do the exercises daily. Strong core is essential.

With Hollie’s help, I had a bunch of heart tests and aced them all. She took me to Brookings five times and sat though the procedures. Blood tests too. I’m grateful for her care.

My longtime friend Gene died in March. I made sure his sons arrived in time to help with the final days. Carol needs help now in ways that I can be there for her like walking with her and taking her to appointments in the car.

Political participation: I attend board of supervisors meeting and note the time on presentations and agenda items and send the info to the Dem committee for those members who watch the meetings on video. I filled two petitions with signatures for the save the harbor initiative. Worked in the Dem booth at the fair selling raffle tickets and handing out literature about candidates. Participated in the rally to unite families. It was there that I had the fear that a politically radicalized person could drive their truck into the crowd and was horrified that I had a frame of reference for such a thought.

Had a couple of social events with Rosalie and Karen. Need more social outside of volunteer duties. I don’t have a best friend and need one. I don’t have anyone that fits. Most people my age are boring or sick.

I cleared ground and Art put up a greenhouse for me. Shawn built a planting box. I overplanted and learned a lot about what I want to do next. The peas and beans took over the yard. They were the only successful plants in this cold and foggy season.

I like the museum duty a lot because of visitors and their stories and because Max is an interesting partner. He is a science guy and shares a lot of information.

Finally quit the senior center duty. It wasn’t fun for a long time but I didn’t want to stay home too much so I waited for another place to show up and then Sarah asked me to come to the visitors’ center and I’m happy to be there. I am a resource because I have lived here for a long time and I have written the history column for the local paper and know stories. I need structure in my week. It’s entirely too easy to stay home and that is not good for me. I sink into the comfort zone of TV and food.

Favorites: Time with Hollie and Megan. My family is the top of the priorities and anytime I can be with them is golden. Next on the top is the tea and stories group. I look forward to our gatherings and sharing our stories.

That’s about all I can say about six months of my 83^rd year.

Day 181

Achy chest again. I know it’s the smoke and I go walking anyway. I wasted yesterday with sitting, TV reruns, and eating too much. Egads. My intentions are so solid in the morning and deteriorate rapidly by noon. Today I’m hoping for  interesting visitors at the CofC. I like talking with new people and hearing their travel stories. The garden is a sad mess. I know the plants are sun starved too. Gloom retards the growth and some rot before they can ripen.

Day 180

Dripping gray morning. Today is drive the car time and shop for stuff that I don’t want to carry. Rocky chicken will come home and get in the oven. I’m feeling the need to sort cupboards. I like organized places and clutter makes me uncomfortable. Yesterday was good even with the headache and boggy sinuses. The museum was busy with interesting people. I like it when I get to use my vast array of trivia. It helps that I wrote the history column.

Day 179

Yesterday developed into drooping energy and an early bedtime. This morning I’m feeling unwell and started with a wi-fi that needed to be fixed. Headache or not, internet is as necessary as coffee. Yahoo for me in spite of my timid tech skills I managed to reconnect. Today Max will not be at the museum and that means I must go and do the duty. Later, I will see the foot doctor for an orthotic check-up. Sure could use a dose of sunshine.

Day 178

Cold enough to turn on the heater! Yesterday Hollie and I had the movie theater to ourselves as we watched Christopher Robin. It was cute and enjoyable. I love Pooh. I spat and sent in my DNA sample to Ancestry. And I worked in the greenhouse. I don’t like how I planted it this year so already have plans for next year. Maybe we will have a real growing season. I gave Hollie a lemon cucumber, green bell pepper and a yellow squash.

Day 177

Church was the most social part of the day. The rest of Sunday was comprised of three movies and three walks. There was also a boatload of food involved. I need to pay attention as those are symptoms of depression. Today I must get outside and work in the garden. I planted it and now I must tend it. This growing season has taken away the pleasure. My gardener friend Art had a heart attack. He is in Medford. Take nothing for granted.

Day 176

Took the day off yesterday. I guess I needed R&R. After the farmers’ market I felt ready to sit and I did. Later I went to the singing bowls and enjoyed the sounds. They make the middle of my forehead tingle. After a poor sleep with lots of awake and wading through past mistakes, the coffee is working and my day will improve. Church will feature a sermon by our deacon postulant Linda. She will do well as she prepares thoroughly. Gray outside.

Day 175

Sun came up this morning but unfortunately it is brownish red. I want to go to the farmers’ market anyway for plums and peaches. I have lots of vegetables already. My simple food plan was disrupted yesterday when I was gifted with a plate full from a barbecue. There was a hamburger, macaroni salad, chips, cupcake and watermelon. Can’t refuse a gift. So, back on track today. There are still lots of visitors who are escaping the fires and smoke. Makes full community

Day 174

The garden is also starving for sun. I will get out after CofC duty and water, give encouragement and enjoy what is growing. Story group was wonderful. I enjoy where the stories lead us in memory. We are so different and yet we have so much life in common. I made another card sized zentangle for including with my check when I send off a bill. I write Thank You on the back and a smiley face. Might give someone a smile too.

Day 173

I’ll start the day with Della and the vet for her rabies inoculation. Later, clean up for story group. There is always yard work and gardening. Yesterday we had talk about aging. Donita turned 79 and Max is 73. We are people who move a lot. She walks, Max swims and rides his bicycle. We all volunteer and keep learning new things. I’m guessing we are the minority of people our age. So many elders are unsocialized and that leads down the road.

How clean is my house? Which house?

My body is the place my spirit dwells. This building is the place where I live my daily life. My community is my place where I belong. How do I keep them clean?

I have a rule of life that serves my intentions. I take care of my body with nutrition and exercise. That is not enough. It also takes positive thinking, positive connections and mindfulness. I want use my time and resources in ways that are satisfying. I am moral and respectable. When I go to bed and review my day, I ask have I taken care of my spirit?

My house is my place for daily living. It is never show room spotless. I like it comfortably clean and keep clutter to a minimum.  The floors are swept, dust mopped and vacuumed. The bathroom and kitchen floors are washed but the wood floors don’t get washed very often with three to five dogs in the house, I am not going to get upset about paw prints and dog hair. The outside needs attention. I don’t notice the briny windows or cobwebs until they are a problem. Then I get busy and clean them. I speak to my neighbors and give compliments about the way they keep their property.

I have a place and belong in my community family and I interact with it daily to keep it fresh. Speaking to people as I walk, and noticing changes in the neighborhood. I like participating in activities that use my skills and help me learn new ones so I volunteer. I like people jobs, not paper shuffling ones. Local politics interest me. Can’t do anything about the big stuff but I can make a difference here.

Day 172

It was a long meeting and interesting. There are  opinions out there that make me cringe. One anti-social justice rant went on until I felt ill. These folks vote. Gitlin showed his colors again. I believe he is mentally off. Later, two walks, visit with Kevin, watered and weeded. Necessary to get outside and move the body. Today, dog groomer, drive the car, go to the museum. I need sun again. This dark damp cold is gloom producing. I choose to live here.

Day 171

BOS this morning. If it should happen to be short, I’ll go to the CofC. True North will be at the meeting asking for a task force on homelessness. I talked with a Viet Nam vet yesterday who wanted money for coffee. I’m sorry for their plight but won’t give money. The progress report for Linda was positive and now sent off. The Dem meeting was long and interesting. I pledged $100 to the barbecue and volunteered to work. My life is full.

Day 170

I filled the green bin from behind the lemon trees and moved dirt from the fence line. Ready for rain and it would be welcome. Hollie is coming this morning to help me with decisions about long term care insurance. I watched my mom’s money disappear into the system and would like to do better. Later, church for the progress report. No time yesterday as they had two meetings already. Later still, Dem meeting and report on the Labor Day barbecue. Busy Monday.

Day 169

Yesterday was summer and it was wonderful! Opened doors and windows and let the warm air in. Now it’s fogville. Today is church and I will go for Morning Prayer because of a committee meeting to make a report on Linda Lee’s progress as our deacon postulant. I have positive things to contribute. Later, I promised to clean out the fence line behind the lemon trees and I will do that. It’s a mess of weeds and berry vines. Joy of home ownership.

Day 168

The sun came out for the afternoon and evening hours and I was stoked! It was a very busy with visitors and I felt that I added a lot with my history knowledge. I like being a resource. People come in with questions and  go out with answers. Today Hollie and I will go to the farmers’ market. Megan is camping again. I’m glad she gets away from computers for a while. I will be in the garden later. Time to pull carrots.

Day 167

Another dark day and I continue to have flat energy. I am active anyway but it is an effort. I did water and pick pea pods but that was all. Hollie and I had a long  catch up conversation. She puts a good face on her situation and I don’t know how she is coping with living as she does. No progress on restoring her house. I keep my tongue in check. After the visitors’ center, I will stop at the grocery store.

Day 166

Yes, we did have smoke refugees and they were glad to be here. I like it busy and interesting. Karen worked her magic and my shoulders are down where they belong. This morning I will step out in the fog to shop with my cart. Now that I know where to park it while I gather my essentials, it works for me. Later I hope to catch up with Hollie. Haven’t seen her for a week. Megan is enjoying eating from the garden.

Day 165

Yesterday had bright spots that were not sun but brought a happier mood anyway. Our young Yurok intern and I had a deep conversation about her life. The result was a bag of salmon fillets that I shared with an equally grateful Megan. Fresh salmon! Great meal along with fresh vegetables from our garden. Today is dark and cold again. I expect the museum to be busy with the folks here to get out of the smoke. Later, Karen will help my body.

Day 164

Darn the damp dark days. I want to curl up in a ball and sleep. But I will go to the visitors’ center and be useful instead. I’m enjoying lots of vegetables from Art and  my garden. Yesterday I breezed in and out of Wally’s in jig time. Won’t need another trip this month. I get turmeric there as I like the spring valley brand. It’s my go to anti-inflammatory. Hat, scarf and coat will help with the cold walk. It’s summer weather.