Day 35

Kind of creaky in the joints this morning from kneeling, squatting, bending and other forms of gardening exercise. I did the transplanting, replanting, seeding, and weeding that I set out to do. I like the tired feeling that comes from well used time, energy and property in a productive way. Today Hollie is coming and we will go to Home Depot to find her some starts and seeds for her garden. I’m glad we share our love of dirt. We share walking too.

Day 34

Foggy morning outside, clear and focused inside. First  stretches and mat exercises.  I’m back to my routine. A long walk before groceries and then back in the yard. I found two more containers and will change some of the plants around. I’m going to plant lettuce in the onion bowl and onions in the lettuce bowl. They can get sun better that way. Maybe I’ll go out to lunch. The buffet at the Chinese restaurant is calling. Won’t go to Good Friday service.

Day 33

My blood test results were very good. In fact, the word “perfect” was used on three categories. The heart tests brought a question so I will see a cardiologist. Some minor change that is probably age-related. Then, out to the dirt. I planted and planned and shoveled and toted. Felt so good. The garden is my playground and I love new growth, pulling up ramps, and sorting out weeds. Today after senior center duty, is story time and I’m hoping everyone shows up.

Day 32

Ah bliss! I planted kale and chard yesterday and it was wonderful to dig in the dirt. I will move bale stuff from the little yard and pile it up on the containers. But first, doctor appointment for test results. Hollie is insisting on going along. She went to the tests and she wants to hear how my heart is doing. I’m guessing the blood work and heart study will be good. Hollie acts like I don’t tell her everything but I do.

Day 31

I turned in the petition and started another one.  I’ll take it to the board of supervisors meeting and get a few more signatures. Hollie’s DNA kit arrived and she will send it tomorrow. We are curious about it. She has developed an interest in her Native American heritage. Baby onions are peeking up and I’ll add another row. Love seeing plant growth. I’m keeping an eye on the lilac and the rhody. I know I’m pushing the season but I can’t wait.

Day 30

I got out for a walk and felt glorious relief. Today after senior center duty I’ll get out, walk and carry the initiative. I like talking to people and am staying close to the neighborhood. Not sure I want to venture out and knock on doors in other places but  I said I would. I like my Dem group and their positive actions for our community. Now I’m waiting for a dry spell so I can shovel the bales remains into the containers.

Day 29

Palm Sunday. I will read a couple of parts in the passion play. I will not attend any of the Holy week activities. It’s the Easter empty cross that I find meaningful. Yesterday was so stormy that it was an indoor day. Hollie had snow at her house and very cold temperature. She is feeling shack fever for sure. I ordered 32 and me for her birthday and the kit should arrive tomorrow. I wanted her to have something to look forward to.

Day 28

Icy wind and probably another inch of rain in the forecast. After all day yesterday in the house, I will get out and do something.  A few groceries for sure and possibly  a few more signatures on the petition I’m carrying for the harbor commission. I will not sit at a table in front of Safeway. I don’t want to freeze my old bones. I am looking forward to warmer days and nights so I can get out and play in the dirt.

Day 27

It was a tired kind of day and an early bed time. Minnie alerted again at 3 something and I did not respond. Today is storming and I will stay inside. There is plenty to do. After a strange lot of dreams, I want to write them in the paper journal and think about them. Dreams about lost items or in this case, a lost dog,  horse, and a person, make me aware of my surroundings. There are drawers that could use sorting.

Day 26

Too early start for today. Darn dogs making a racket at 4! I don’t know what alerted them but night was over. Yesterday I scored four containers from thrift stores so I can get started as soon as the weather clears. The cardiac tests are done and I’ll get the results next week. Hollie and I got our lunch at Chan’s. So it was a good day. It’s senior center duty and I’m looking forward to it. Later, a bit of a nap..

Day 25

After Karen’s massage I curled up with a dog and my blanket and slept for two hours! Today I’ll finish filling the green bin and get it out for pickup before we go to Brookings. Today is the echocardiogram and then the medical stuff is finished. I’ll get the test results on the 28^th.  This morning I’m going thrift store shopping for large planting pots. I have a few and want a couple more. The remains of the bales make wonderful potting material.

Day 24

Aside from a few PVCs, my stress test was normal. I stopped at 120 beats per minute as that is over the top for my age. I’m in good shape and surprised the tech with my energy. We had successful shopping but  didn’t get  lunch as Chan’s was closed on Monday. We are going back on Wednesday for the echocardiogram. Today I’ll see Karen for massage and that is the entire agenda. I brought home baby vegetable plants. My green thumb was itching.

Day 23

Mother Leslie was at church with her stories about her childhood in the wilds of Britain. The taco party was well attended and lively. I sat with interesting people and ate heartily. Today I will meet Hollie and we will go to Freddie’s and shop for an hour before my treadmill stress test. After I ace that, we will go to Chan’s for our favorite Szechwan Chow Mein. After a long talk with Carol’s daughter, I am concerned about her dependence on friends.

Day 22

It was a good day! Any day with sun and outside activity is a good day. I walked and walked and filled the green bin with weeds. I’ll go to church after a chilly early walk. Fr. David will be here. Later I’ll go to the museum volunteer event. I enjoy seeing the other volunteers. The board members fix lunch and today is taco time. I look forward to the season starting. People from all over the world come to our little museum.

Day 21

Lunch with Ellen turned out to be lunch with two Ellens and Art. It was chatty and fun. Today is cold and clear and I want outside. I did get out for a quick step around the block and it was exhilarating. I guess if I have to have an addiction, walking is a good one. Today I have no agenda. Maybe the farm stand, maybe find a project besides the ongoing weeding. I’m glad to have a large yard and exercise opportunities.

Day 20

Yesterday was long dark wet cold and I didn’t get a walk. I’m addicted to walking so the craving was strong to bundle up and go for it. I didn’t. Karen and I had long talk about our Episcopal and Democratic party histories. Today the dogs go to the spa for hair and nails while I do the errands and shopping in the showers. Later, lunch out with Ellen and hope to get outside between downpours. Weather rules activities. Always looking for inspiration.

Day 19

I vigorously walked six miles in yesterday’s wonderful spring weather. Today, dark, wet, windy. Usual start for the day. I like my routine and it gives me a positive start for whatever happens during the day. It is senior center duty with the band and then the highlight of the week, story group. I enjoy our stories and sharing. Never know where the conversation will go. My brief story about our frequent moving led to revealing family secrets! Today I’ll read about keys.

Day 18

Another slow start after a restless night. It’s cold and clear out and my day will start with exercises, stretching, and walking to get bananas. I’ll get the BOS report  e-mailed and that’s all the duty I have.  Yesterday I drove Carol on her errands. She is so frail and unused to doing her business that I wonder how long she will be able to live alone. Her son and daughter arrive today and she is not looking forward to their hovering.

Day 17

Poor sleep. Coffee is helping clear the fog. The Dem meeting was so stimulating with information and plans that my brain wouldn’t turn off. Today is board of supervisors meeting and it will be a sitting event. I need to pay attention so I can report to the committee  Every three months I get the wild curls cut off. It is easier to take care of but my neck gets cold. It’s raining and I will walk to the meeting and the appointment.

Dday 16

Sunday was active and the weather made it mandatory to be outside. Carol and I had a long conversation. The truth is hitting her hard when she has a thought to share with Gene and he isn’t there. It takes a long time for that lurch to diminish. Twenty-seven family members will gather for the spreading of the ashes next Friday. Meanwhile, more yardwork when I get home from senior center duty. A week of rain is forecast. I soak up the sun.

Day 15

Beautiful morning. 61 years ago it was wet and windy. Hollie was born when I was home alone and she was an hour old when her father found us. It was a bonding experience. I swear that she raised her head, looked at me, and the connection was made. Today we will have an early dinner at a seafood restaurant as that is her favorite food. Meanwhile, I’m going to work in Megan’s  yard. I want to clean up around the wisteria vines.

Day 14

Yesterday happened as planned. Five miles on foot, casual conversations plus intentional ones.  I have no plans again today. After a trip to the farm stand Hollie will come for a visit. Her friends are celebrating her birthday with breakfast. She has such a close and loving group and they spend so much time at the restaurant that they ask if they have to pay rent on the table. Carol’s daughter and family will arrive today. That takes the pressure off the friends.

Day 13

Friday.  I need a day off so no agenda. The house is neat and tidy, refrigerator full of vegetables, bills current, and I’ll walk for fun. I may look for the perfect birthday card for Hollie’s upcoming special day. I may go visiting too. Conversations are always welcome if they are about how life is going. I enjoy stimulating stories and ideas. Later, I’ll call Carol for a chat to be sure she is comfortable.  Meanwhile, chicken soup full of goodies for breakfast.

Day 12

Long e-mail conversations with Carol’s daughter Angela. I questioned why they were leaving her alone until the 17^th. Carol had never spent a night alone and she is definitely in a fog. Gene took care of everything and she is helpless. All of us love her and will do what we can but we are not kin. Angela changed their plans and will be here this weekend. Strong blustery wind and I will get out before duty. Rain later and I need walking.

Day 11

Yesterday was warm for walking, people for talking, easy errands, easy weed pulling .  I met Cerise and Kathy at Carol’s house. She is so tiny and frail and has not yet fully accepted that Gene is gone. Kathy took her to do some of the business of death. Later, the project leader for the labyrinth at the park came and we went next door so she could walk and photograph the labyrinth. We had a meaningful  conversation about our conscious aging program.

Day 10

I love my morning coffee and this morning I’m going without until I get the fasting blood work at 8 AM. Then I will wrap my cold hands around a hot cup and feel the caffeine do its job. Later, appointments for car service, haircut, and maybe the follow-up heart tests. The clear warm day will be calling for outside activity and walking. The green bin will get full of shrub trimming and weeds. Good day coming, after coffee. I like my life.

Day 9

Senior center duty and it is noisy on Monday. Many of our folks are alone all weekend and need conversation. Fortunately I have connections and conversations. Hollie and Megan visited yesterday. I am grateful that they are close and that we love each other. I asked Megan questions about her man friend as we don’t know him yet. She is obviously in love and enjoying the relationship. She enjoys her work too and it’s tax season so she has a lot to do.

Day 8

Gene died peacefully with Carol and his sons close by. She is alone for the first time in her life and is feeling adrift. I expect to spend lots of time with her. Today the Deacon-in-training has asked me to stay after the service to meet with her and hear her plans. She has assigned steps toward her ordination and needs lay input. I’ll be one of her support team. I’m good at support. I’m good at connecting people with other people too

Day 7

The A1C was “perfect” according to my FNP. It went from 6.5 to 5.5 in six weeks thanks to my protein/vegetable food plan. The scales went down six pounds too. The EKG results led to further study. Lunch was good. We went to a new restaurant. The party at Port O’Pints was noisy and crowded as it always is there. We had deep conversations in spite of the loud patrons. Only a few people ventured out for the prayer meeting. Now, quiet Saturday.

When I became part of the care and support team for Carol and Gene, I was given a key to their front door in case of emergency. It got me thinking about keys and what they mean. Giving a key to someone is giving permission to enter property. It says that the key owner is vulnerable and may need help. The doors to my house need a bunch of keys. Hollie has two to the front door, Megan has a key to the back porch and back door, two keys are needed to the sunporch door. I decided that Megan needed access to that door as well. I took the key to home depot and wandered around looking for the key duplicating machine. An employee was called to help me. He was an odd looking small statured man with a spiky hairdo and  big black button-like things in his ear lobes. He sorted through the key blanks over and over while we talked. I mentioned that I was at the age where safety was more important than it used to be and I needed family members to be able to get in any of my doors. He told me that his wife was handicapped and used a wheelchair. She locked the doors when he was at work and it worried him. What if she needed help and nobody could get in. He didn’t know the neighbors well enough to ask them if they would hold a key. It became an almost intimate conversation and I noticed that our heads came close to each other. We talked about who to trust with keys and finally he found the correct blank and I had my spare key for Megan. It was a conversation that reminded me of the importance of listening and acknowledging our shared journey. Everybody has a story.

When I was volunteering at the police department, one of my jobs was taking money for fines and writing receipts. One day a guy kept tapping the window with a key while I was writing. I handed him the receipt and asked what was with the key noise. I have a key, he nearly shouted. I have a place to go in and live. He said daily bread ministry has turned him around, helped him make new friends and he was on his way to a clean and sober life. The key was a symbol of a home as well as the reality of his changes.

Day 6

Wet and windy. Restless night and early awakening. I like 5 AM  not 4! Minnie was romping around barking and walking on me and it was about breakfast. Then the dogs go back to sleep. Me, not so lucky. Agenda: appointment with my FNP for EKG and A1C test results, lunch at the seafood restaurant with Ellen, Port O’ Pints with Rosalie and Karen for Irish Red and a patriot dog, then World day of Prayer at 7. I like days with parts.

Boondock band

Day 5

Watching the storm.

Stormy days. Stuck in the house. Pacing and jogging on the rebounder. Today is senior center duty and the Boondock band will play. That livelies up the place. I like their folk songs and often sing along quietly. I cancelled  story group as Laurie and Carol can’t come. New month and old plans. If I just get a break in the weather, I’ll get the lettuce bowl started in the back porch. I just can’t wait to get my hands  in the dirt.