Day 218

I walked better yesterday than I have in a long time. 6000 step walk followed by another later. Tracy and exercise are paying off. Today is Fr. Tom’s birthday so a cake will appear after the service. I like his sermons as they are social justice based on the lessons. He is my age and also active. I had a vertigo spell after doing a crossword puzzle. It scared me. Finally I closed my eyes and kind of napped. I was okay later.

Day 217

The visitors’ center was busy and interesting. I like having new questions that require research and thinking instead of the tape recorded instructions to Stout Grove. The city gave a barbecue downstairs and I asked Eric if city volunteers could come and he said “C’mon down.” So chicken and salad on the city. Couple of cool walks and lots of conversation made it a good day. Today I’m hoping to connect with Hollie. I haven’t seen her since she is subbing at JH.

Day 216

Visitors’s center today. I’m looking forward to going and being busy. I need structured time. I did shop yesterday and walk but time goes fast with nothing to show for it and my work ethic complains. When do I get to retire? What would days look like if I didn’t find volunteer positions? I need to develop a creative outlet. Maybe I’ll get the watercolors out again. Story group was perfect, as always. No matter who is here, it works for us all.

The theme was a short love story that ended badly

When Art and Ellen offered to help me have a greenhouse, I was excited. I always wanted one so I could have vegetables all year round. The space where I wanted it was lumpy, uneven ground that was full of years old weeds and old roots. There I was merrily singing and shoveling to level and clear the ground. It was work with joy at the prospect of having the greenhouse. They came with the frame and were surprised at how well the ground was prepared. Yes, I did it with my shovel and several trips to the chiropractor who joked that Medicare would probably take my shovel away from me. I ordered the cover that turned out to be a lot more expensive than I was first told but at this point my love affair with having it were overcome. Then the cover was installed, tied down and all was well. I wanted it done well so I covered the ground with wire mesh to keep the gophers out, garden cloth to keep the weeds out, and mulch for a finishing touch. Then I asked Shawn to build me a planting box. I told him the house was an eight foot square so he build the box 8X2X2. Well, the house was 7 foot 10 inches to the box wouldn’t fit until he found a way to pull the frame tubes out enough to work. Only now the door won’t zip closed. Art came and more adjustments and now the door will almost close. I’m willing to overlook the difficulties as I want this project so much. It took lots of bags of soil to fill the box and then I overplanted a lot. It was late in the season and I wanted to use it so there were plants in every part of the box and on the floor. The plants in the box were very happy and grew into a jungle that I had no way of taming. The sudden realization that I didn’t know what I was doing and now had this monumental mess was deflating my enthusiasm and I actually didn’t go in for weeks. Finally, I took a deep breath and entered ready to overcome the mass of green and bring order and hopefully bring back my desire to enjoy the process. I pulled out kale plants, carrots, chard, lots of spinach, beets, etc. thinning was done by the handsful of overgrown plants. Now I have a friendly relationship but the love went away with the lack of ease that I had wanted. I want a happily ever after so I am thoughtfully planning for next season.

day 215

Day 215

Getting on the mat revealed my forgetfulness. I had to work at how to do a couple of the exercises. It felt good. The routine will help my strength and endurance. Today is shopping and errands in the car. I want a new walking jacket and wet weather gear from Big 5. The grocery list needs to be filled and the car needs exercise too. Later, story group. I look forward to our gatherings and sharing. It is the highlight of the week.

Day 214

Jeremy found lots to clean out and update. I appreciate his expertise. The BOS was remarkably short and drama free. Today is the last museum duty of the season. Whatever will I do with another whole day at home. I need to discipline my routine so I use my time well. Later I will walk to Tracy for another chiropractic treatment. Should be the last one for this issue. I need to get back to the PT exercises. They keep my core  strong.

Day 213

My intentions disappeared in an energy sinking spell. One minute I’m up and the next minute I have nothing to work with. Don’t know why but there I was napping instead of acting. Today is BOS. The agenda looks small but that is no proof that the meeting will be short. The drama comes and takes up business time. Later, Jeremy is coming over to clean this machine and make it pep up. I ordered a new fitbit yesterday. I wrote the story.

Day 212

Huge bright moon peeking in the skylight. What a great omen for a good day. My plan it to walk to the harbor early, before the wind starts to blow, see the yachts, shop at Safeway on the way home, and do some housework. I need to clear out the greenhouse and plant beet seeds. There are carrots, peppers, beets and kale growing. I promised to keep a crop year around. I may write my short love story gone bad for story group.

Day 211

It was a slow day with napping all morning. Came to about 3 PM and had a couple of walks that helped clear the cobwebs from the headache. Slept well until Della got sick and I had to change the sheets. She is not doing well and it may be close to time to discuss her quality of life with the vet. Morning prayer followed by historical society ice cream social and general meeting. I may go as I enjoy seeing  the people.

Day 210

Woke up unwell. Headache and achy body. Tracy’s manipulation didn’t have the usual positive effect. I did sleep okay but don’t know about doing much today. I don’t want to waste a Saturday when Hollie and I usually do things together. I was planning to walk to the harbor and visit the Australians in their fancy yacht. They were among the interesting foreign visitors yesterday. I’ll take a couple of headache pills and hope for the best. The season change slows me down.

Day 209

Dog wash first thing. While they are being pampered, I’ll make a Walmart run for the monthly supply of peanut butter and paper products. Then it’s off to the visitor’s center for a busy Friday. Later, I’ll walk to Tracy for another chiropractic visit. Lunch, Cobb salad and a glass of blonde ale, with Karen was delicious and amusing. She calls me a pebble dropper. She told about her duty at Mountain school and the garden. I enjoy her company. I missed Rosalie.

Day 208

Museum duty was slow and I walked up and down a lot. I don’t like to sit. I will miss being there I need to fill the space. My TV went bonkers so I had a long chat with a tech and will be having a new cable box this morning. We were on the call long enough so that I know his life story.  I enjoy conversations with unseen service people.  Drive the car, grocery shop, clean house plus Seaquake with Karen and Rosalie.

Day 207

Yesterday was a very good one. I had conversations with interesting visitors. I like the quieter time so there is space for personal talk. I feel that I add to their visit by adding questions about their travel experience. Today is next to last museum duty and I hope have more stories from our guests. Later, farmers’ market. I’m not through with zucchini. Want cabbage too and maybe grab lunch at Rebecca’s kitchen. I like the chicken and rice noodles. Perfect walking weather.

Day 206

I felt change in the garden when I was pulling out the vines from peas, beans and tomatoes. The cold house in the morning that means heaters again. I feel anxious about something without a name. The anti-dote is getting busy physically: sweeping, dusting, exercise to get the nerves out of the body. Here is where mindfulness helps. Today is visitors’ center and that is always diverting and interesting. I need to have a schedule so I don’t sag into the comfort zone.

Day 205

After church I talked with Linda Segura about her AA meetings at Pelican Bay. I wondered if she ever invited An-Anon speakers to tell the stories from the other side of the relationship. She was planning to talk about co-dependency and enabling but hadn’t thought of partners. After the conversation, I had lots of memories both of the mess with Dave and the recovery. It was a difficult time and giving up the victim story was the hardest part. New week. Get busy.

Day 204

Yesterday I wondered if I need more parts in my daily life. Megan talked about the fun at Trivia night and the shared laughing. I wasn’t envious but it did make me think. I have never been involved in games except as a child with Chinese checkers or monopoly. I never learned card games and I don’t particularly feel comfortable  in public activities. Maybe my life is full enough. I know I depend on TV and dogs for company. I enjoy stimulating conversation.

Day 203

My back and neck are doing fine this morning. Tracy does a good job for me. Hollie will be by for our trip to the farmers’ market. I’m satisfied with simple joys. The duty at the visitors’ center was fun. Lots of questions and I have answers. It’s helpful that I have stories about our area to enhance their visit. I did a few watercolor cards for my payment  thank-yous. They look like a six year old made them. Quite a fun project.

Day 202

Megan shared her peach cobbler and ice cream and it was delicious. I completed the Thursday chores, drove the car, cleaned the house, and bought groceries, all normal activities. Story group was super. The theme was music. Carol brought her mantra CD, Laurie brought music that bonded her with father, and Delia told about concerts with Bob Kramer. The sharing is intimate. Then I did a tell/show about the business card sized thank-yous to send with my checks. A whole day of sharing.

Day 201

Story group will be the favorite event today. I will clean the house, drive the car, buy groceries while I look forward to time with my group. Much as I like my place on the Dem committee, I’m feeling that I don’t know enough to be useful. When I send my notes to them, I may miss the important stuff. Guess I will learn by listening and having feedback. As long as I’m willing to sit through that BOS behavior, I will serve.

Day 200

Tracy gave me relief. I noticed my posture was better and walking was easier. This morning I’m sore but mobile and ready for a good day. The BOS was four and a half hours of politics and some county business. What a display of rudeness. I will send my notes to the committee this morning. Ellen and Art brought tomatoes and Megan made pasta sauce. Art was clutching his heart pillow but looks surprisingly well. I enjoy my connections with friends and community.

Day 199

I woke up unwell again with the pain in my neck and headache. Went away with coffee except the remnants are with me. I will see Tracy this afternoon and hope he can help with chiropractic care . The Dem committee meeting was long and interesting. I learn as much as I can from showing up and listening. BOS this morning and I will take a long walk before the sitting spell. Not too enthusiastic and I’m sorry that I don’t feel well.

Day 198

Woke up okay. Still a little hangover from yesterday’s migraine. My neck is sore to the touch as is my head. I don’t get those often, thank god, but when I do it’s as if it has saved up for a big bang. Today is yard clearing. There is no rain in sight and it will rain and I want to be ready. Conversations with Megan and Kelle about the same subject: how to keep everything they want in a neat usable way.

Day 197

Woke up sick. The nagging little backache that I was able to walk out is now a full spasm pain plus neck and headache. I didn’t call Tracy on Friday when I thought about it and now I can put up with it. Just watering the orchids is trouble and I don’t know if I can even contemplate church. Darn it all. I like my healthy self. Yesterday morning was okay with the walk with Hollie to the market. Downhill in the afternoon.

Day 193

Interesting visitors yesterday made the effort worthwhile. I enjoy travel stories and like to engage in personal stories too. Many Canadian are traveling through. This morning the smoke is bad and we are going to the market together.  Maybe Bosc pears today. I’m still want squash, string beans, and cabbage. It is usually a social walk and that is my favorite part plus our family time. I’m glad my bubble is back in the middle. No idea why I had the horrible day.

Day 195

Yesterday did not improve: grumpy, frumpy, achy. Ate everything in sight as well as two bags of Australian licorice that is nowhere as good as Panda. Napped in front of TV.  I can’t pinpoint the tantrum but felt uncomfortable and unwell. I did walk and the air was bad too. I’m ready to regain my usual self and have a better day. I don’t like wasting a day but that was what it was. Today is visitor’ center duty and I need groceries.

Day 194

It’s drive the car day and I don’t want to. May turn it on and let it idle for ten minutes. Don’t want to grocery shop. Don’t want to tidy the house. All negative choices. What do I want? I’m going to sit here until I know. I want to go to Brookings and wander through the thrift stores, have lunch at Chan’s, and come home with ideas. I want a friend to go places with so I don’t always depend on Hollie.

Day 193

Today is museum duty plus whatever comes up. I will walk to the farmers’ market after duty for vegs. I need a bunch of fresh stuff for my food plan since my own plants have given up for the season. I do love going out and picking things and eating them immediately. I enjoyed the visitors yesterday. Still lots of traveling and there were several Canadians with interesting stories. Tenaya brought smoked salmon that she caught with a net. I won’t share it.

Day 192

I cleaned and cleaned outside plus cleaning my bedroom too. Then I sat. It was a cold night. I’m guessing that if I put the down comforter back then we will get our Indian summer and have warm nights. Oh well, it’s okay to pull up the spread when I get a chill. Busy dreams. All positive about sharing and family feeling. Woke up ready for another busy day at the visitors’ center and my home. The garden shed is next for cleaning.

Day 191

Best part of yesterday? Walk, talk, and lunch with Hollie. I need to see her at least once a week. She is important to me. Church was its usual family feel. Must be like the early church when folks met in homes for simple services. It meets my needs for ritual. Today I will weed in Megan’s’ yard. I can fill the wheelbarrow in minutes from there. The deck is full of weeds growing through the cracks. Might pull the pea vines down.

Day 190

Another long night after a busy day with activity and people. I enjoyed being part of the dem barbecue. It was efficiently and compatibly set up and taken down. Everyone had a duty and they were good at doing it. Early this morning Karen came and we took a lot of tiny gravensteins from the neighbors’ unthinned apple tree. She will make and can applesauce. It’s too much for me. Who else has a friend who wants to midnight requisition free organic food.

Day 189

Long sleep after a tiring day. Busy at the center followed by emotional time with Julia confessing to being scammed for $6K by her on-line man friend. She sold her car, her furniture, everything for him. She is humiliated and heart-broken. Today is the Dem barbecue and Hollie will go with me and help out. She and I like to do things together. Last year the smoke was down to the ground and miserable. Better today and I’m looking forward to the event.