Day 188

No story group so Carol and I took a walk instead. She likes to get her steps. Long Dem meeting. Candidates for school board were interviewed and there were issues with one of them. It will be interesting to see how that turns out. I learned a lot about the process. Today is visitors’ center. I’m expecting that it will be busy because of the holiday weekend.  Then the number will dwindle and the duty becomes less appealing. Life is full of  changes.

Day 187

Long restless night with dreams about disasters and a short one about mom wanting bourbon. I rarely dream about her and she was demanding attention. Today I will drive the car, buy groceries, host story group, and attend a Dem meeting. The yard also needs attention. I took out a kale plant as it was buggy. Must pick peas and beans again as they are doing well. It is time to replant beets in the greenhouse. I want beets and carrots all winter.

Day 186

Gray, damp. Looking forward to museum duty. I’m hoping for interesting visitors and lively conversations. I will send off BOS notes in a few minutes and ask members to list talking points from the recall the gas tax people. We need the tax. No drama at the meeting and I left early for my massage with Karen. I asked her to work on my head and it felt wonderful. Meg made a beautiful dinner from the garden. The short unproductive season is over.

Day 185

Yesterday started with vigor and cleaning occurred. The back porch is shiny as is the kitchen. Then the green bin was filled with weeds from Megan’s yard. Picked peas and beans too. Later, Ellen came and I listened for two hours about her problems with Art and the health care system. Driving is not comfortable for her and I am the same way. I would not like the drive to Medford either. Later still, Megan vented about her boss and doing his work.

Day 184

The conversation with Betsy was productive. It pinned down the values we have as a congregation. The bottom line: inclusive acceptance of newcomers, the community, and the whole county. There were examples of outreach and service. I waited for Ellen to visit. She is upset about Art’s heart surgery and is taking it personally. She didn’t show up or text so I don’t know what’s going on. It’s smoky again this morning. Cuts down on walking.  I don’t want my lungs to ache.

Day 183

The sun is up and it’s the right color. No fog or smoke. Priest Betsy from the Bishop’s office will be at church and we are expected to meet after the communion service to talk with her. I keep wondering how long they will let our little congregation survive. Ellen is home. She says Art is not responding well to the meds after his heart surgery. She acts angry but I’m guessing she is afraid of taking care of him, the yard, etc.

Day 182

The sun made a brief appearance yesterday and it was a welcome sight. It’s foggy again this morning. Later, Hollie and I will walk to the farmers’ market as is our summer ritual for vegs and fruit. The visitors’ center was interesting because the travelers had amusing stories. That’s the best part of the duty. It is slowing down and soon the number will decrease even more. Older people travel after Labor Day when the kids are back in school. So goes summer.

Mid –year inventory

Notes from the daily log and not in any particular order

Too many entries about low energy, blah attitude, feeling cold and slow. Need to work on remembering the days of powering through with vigor and enjoyment’ Lots of walking, sporadic PT exercising. Sometimes I put the mat down and then pick it back up. I know I need to do the exercises daily. Strong core is essential.

With Hollie’s help, I had a bunch of heart tests and aced them all. She took me to Brookings five times and sat though the procedures. Blood tests too. I’m grateful for her care.

My longtime friend Gene died in March. I made sure his sons arrived in time to help with the final days. Carol needs help now in ways that I can be there for her like walking with her and taking her to appointments in the car.

Political participation: I attend board of supervisors meeting and note the time on presentations and agenda items and send the info to the Dem committee for those members who watch the meetings on video. I filled two petitions with signatures for the save the harbor initiative. Worked in the Dem booth at the fair selling raffle tickets and handing out literature about candidates. Participated in the rally to unite families. It was there that I had the fear that a politically radicalized person could drive their truck into the crowd and was horrified that I had a frame of reference for such a thought.

Had a couple of social events with Rosalie and Karen. Need more social outside of volunteer duties. I don’t have a best friend and need one. I don’t have anyone that fits. Most people my age are boring or sick.

I cleared ground and Art put up a greenhouse for me. Shawn built a planting box. I overplanted and learned a lot about what I want to do next. The peas and beans took over the yard. They were the only successful plants in this cold and foggy season.

I like the museum duty a lot because of visitors and their stories and because Max is an interesting partner. He is a science guy and shares a lot of information.

Finally quit the senior center duty. It wasn’t fun for a long time but I didn’t want to stay home too much so I waited for another place to show up and then Sarah asked me to come to the visitors’ center and I’m happy to be there. I am a resource because I have lived here for a long time and I have written the history column for the local paper and know stories. I need structure in my week. It’s entirely too easy to stay home and that is not good for me. I sink into the comfort zone of TV and food.

Favorites: Time with Hollie and Megan. My family is the top of the priorities and anytime I can be with them is golden. Next on the top is the tea and stories group. I look forward to our gatherings and sharing our stories.

That’s about all I can say about six months of my 83^rd year.

Day 181

Achy chest again. I know it’s the smoke and I go walking anyway. I wasted yesterday with sitting, TV reruns, and eating too much. Egads. My intentions are so solid in the morning and deteriorate rapidly by noon. Today I’m hoping for  interesting visitors at the CofC. I like talking with new people and hearing their travel stories. The garden is a sad mess. I know the plants are sun starved too. Gloom retards the growth and some rot before they can ripen.

Day 180

Dripping gray morning. Today is drive the car time and shop for stuff that I don’t want to carry. Rocky chicken will come home and get in the oven. I’m feeling the need to sort cupboards. I like organized places and clutter makes me uncomfortable. Yesterday was good even with the headache and boggy sinuses. The museum was busy with interesting people. I like it when I get to use my vast array of trivia. It helps that I wrote the history column.

Day 179

Yesterday developed into drooping energy and an early bedtime. This morning I’m feeling unwell and started with a wi-fi that needed to be fixed. Headache or not, internet is as necessary as coffee. Yahoo for me in spite of my timid tech skills I managed to reconnect. Today Max will not be at the museum and that means I must go and do the duty. Later, I will see the foot doctor for an orthotic check-up. Sure could use a dose of sunshine.

Day 178

Cold enough to turn on the heater! Yesterday Hollie and I had the movie theater to ourselves as we watched Christopher Robin. It was cute and enjoyable. I love Pooh. I spat and sent in my DNA sample to Ancestry. And I worked in the greenhouse. I don’t like how I planted it this year so already have plans for next year. Maybe we will have a real growing season. I gave Hollie a lemon cucumber, green bell pepper and a yellow squash.

Day 177

Church was the most social part of the day. The rest of Sunday was comprised of three movies and three walks. There was also a boatload of food involved. I need to pay attention as those are symptoms of depression. Today I must get outside and work in the garden. I planted it and now I must tend it. This growing season has taken away the pleasure. My gardener friend Art had a heart attack. He is in Medford. Take nothing for granted.

Day 176

Took the day off yesterday. I guess I needed R&R. After the farmers’ market I felt ready to sit and I did. Later I went to the singing bowls and enjoyed the sounds. They make the middle of my forehead tingle. After a poor sleep with lots of awake and wading through past mistakes, the coffee is working and my day will improve. Church will feature a sermon by our deacon postulant Linda. She will do well as she prepares thoroughly. Gray outside.

Day 175

Sun came up this morning but unfortunately it is brownish red. I want to go to the farmers’ market anyway for plums and peaches. I have lots of vegetables already. My simple food plan was disrupted yesterday when I was gifted with a plate full from a barbecue. There was a hamburger, macaroni salad, chips, cupcake and watermelon. Can’t refuse a gift. So, back on track today. There are still lots of visitors who are escaping the fires and smoke. Makes full community

Day 174

The garden is also starving for sun. I will get out after CofC duty and water, give encouragement and enjoy what is growing. Story group was wonderful. I enjoy where the stories lead us in memory. We are so different and yet we have so much life in common. I made another card sized zentangle for including with my check when I send off a bill. I write Thank You on the back and a smiley face. Might give someone a smile too.

Day 173

I’ll start the day with Della and the vet for her rabies inoculation. Later, clean up for story group. There is always yard work and gardening. Yesterday we had talk about aging. Donita turned 79 and Max is 73. We are people who move a lot. She walks, Max swims and rides his bicycle. We all volunteer and keep learning new things. I’m guessing we are the minority of people our age. So many elders are unsocialized and that leads down the road.

How clean is my house? Which house?

My body is the place my spirit dwells. This building is the place where I live my daily life. My community is my place where I belong. How do I keep them clean?

I have a rule of life that serves my intentions. I take care of my body with nutrition and exercise. That is not enough. It also takes positive thinking, positive connections and mindfulness. I want use my time and resources in ways that are satisfying. I am moral and respectable. When I go to bed and review my day, I ask have I taken care of my spirit?

My house is my place for daily living. It is never show room spotless. I like it comfortably clean and keep clutter to a minimum.  The floors are swept, dust mopped and vacuumed. The bathroom and kitchen floors are washed but the wood floors don’t get washed very often with three to five dogs in the house, I am not going to get upset about paw prints and dog hair. The outside needs attention. I don’t notice the briny windows or cobwebs until they are a problem. Then I get busy and clean them. I speak to my neighbors and give compliments about the way they keep their property.

I have a place and belong in my community family and I interact with it daily to keep it fresh. Speaking to people as I walk, and noticing changes in the neighborhood. I like participating in activities that use my skills and help me learn new ones so I volunteer. I like people jobs, not paper shuffling ones. Local politics interest me. Can’t do anything about the big stuff but I can make a difference here.

Day 172

It was a long meeting and interesting. There are  opinions out there that make me cringe. One anti-social justice rant went on until I felt ill. These folks vote. Gitlin showed his colors again. I believe he is mentally off. Later, two walks, visit with Kevin, watered and weeded. Necessary to get outside and move the body. Today, dog groomer, drive the car, go to the museum. I need sun again. This dark damp cold is gloom producing. I choose to live here.

Day 171

BOS this morning. If it should happen to be short, I’ll go to the CofC. True North will be at the meeting asking for a task force on homelessness. I talked with a Viet Nam vet yesterday who wanted money for coffee. I’m sorry for their plight but won’t give money. The progress report for Linda was positive and now sent off. The Dem meeting was long and interesting. I pledged $100 to the barbecue and volunteered to work. My life is full.

Day 170

I filled the green bin from behind the lemon trees and moved dirt from the fence line. Ready for rain and it would be welcome. Hollie is coming this morning to help me with decisions about long term care insurance. I watched my mom’s money disappear into the system and would like to do better. Later, church for the progress report. No time yesterday as they had two meetings already. Later still, Dem meeting and report on the Labor Day barbecue. Busy Monday.

Day 169

Yesterday was summer and it was wonderful! Opened doors and windows and let the warm air in. Now it’s fogville. Today is church and I will go for Morning Prayer because of a committee meeting to make a report on Linda Lee’s progress as our deacon postulant. I have positive things to contribute. Later, I promised to clean out the fence line behind the lemon trees and I will do that. It’s a mess of weeds and berry vines. Joy of home ownership.

Day 168

The sun came out for the afternoon and evening hours and I was stoked! It was a very busy with visitors and I felt that I added a lot with my history knowledge. I like being a resource. People come in with questions and  go out with answers. Today Hollie and I will go to the farmers’ market. Megan is camping again. I’m glad she gets away from computers for a while. I will be in the garden later. Time to pull carrots.

Day 167

Another dark day and I continue to have flat energy. I am active anyway but it is an effort. I did water and pick pea pods but that was all. Hollie and I had a long  catch up conversation. She puts a good face on her situation and I don’t know how she is coping with living as she does. No progress on restoring her house. I keep my tongue in check. After the visitors’ center, I will stop at the grocery store.

Day 166

Yes, we did have smoke refugees and they were glad to be here. I like it busy and interesting. Karen worked her magic and my shoulders are down where they belong. This morning I will step out in the fog to shop with my cart. Now that I know where to park it while I gather my essentials, it works for me. Later I hope to catch up with Hollie. Haven’t seen her for a week. Megan is enjoying eating from the garden.

Day 165

Yesterday had bright spots that were not sun but brought a happier mood anyway. Our young Yurok intern and I had a deep conversation about her life. The result was a bag of salmon fillets that I shared with an equally grateful Megan. Fresh salmon! Great meal along with fresh vegetables from our garden. Today is dark and cold again. I expect the museum to be busy with the folks here to get out of the smoke. Later, Karen will help my body.

Day 164

Darn the damp dark days. I want to curl up in a ball and sleep. But I will go to the visitors’ center and be useful instead. I’m enjoying lots of vegetables from Art and  my garden. Yesterday I breezed in and out of Wally’s in jig time. Won’t need another trip this month. I get turmeric there as I like the spring valley brand. It’s my go to anti-inflammatory. Hat, scarf and coat will help with the cold walk. It’s summer weather.

Day 163

Big deal yesterday was the addition to my veg/protein meal of pea pods!  Today, gray and cold again, will include a shopping trip to Wally’s and a car warm up . Nothing exciting to look forward to. I feel needy for more than sun, but something new to participate in. I love having parts in community activities like the fair. Although I have my volunteer duties, still, there is time for socializing, learning, sharing, maybe writing. I made a couple of zentangle cards.

Day 162

I didn’t make it to the harbor yesterday. In fact, aside from a bit of garden work, I didn’t do anything. No energy. About noon, I did take a walk without much enthusiasm. Hope for today to bring back my zip. Today the agenda is church. After that the day is mine and I hope to use it better than napping in front of reruns. Sun would help. I keep feeling the seasonal depression symptoms: naps and food. The garden is needy too.

Day 161

After our busy duty at the Dem booth hawking raffle tickets and talking to passers-by, we had a different and delicious lunch: fries, beans, pulled pork, and coleslaw on top. It was a mountain of good food. I was tired in the afternoon as seems to be common lately after a noisy busy time and I’m glad I participate in local politics. Today the farmers’ market will be at the harbor and that makes it a longer walk. The garden needs work today.

Day 160

Peeks of sun yesterday made such a difference in my mood. I was getting seasonal depression in summer! It was a good day for connections and conversations plus the pleasure of story group. Hollie will come this morning and we will walk to the fair early so we have time for viewing the pigs, lop-eared rabbits and flowers before we take our turn at the Dem booth. I’m glad she said she would come along with me. It’s fun to do things together.

Day 159

Smoky outside with no relief in sight. The museum was busy with a constant stream of visitors’ many of whom were here for a respite from the poor conditions in their areas. I enjoyed the busyness and interesting people. Today is house attention plus the story group will come this afternoon. I’m prepared with gluten-free pretzels and Panda licorice. I doubt that I will work outside much except to water everywhere. The garden is also sun starved and it’s cold at night again.

The prompt:

Write about a piece of jewelry you own. Where did you get it? When do you wear it?

I have a pre-historic goddess pendent that was given to me about thirty years ago. It was at the rehearsal dinner for a big wedding where I was to officiate the next day. The wedding party was at Patricks’ Creek Lodge where the family and friends had taken over the whole place. After the dinner, the soon-to-be bride and I had a private talk about the next day and that was when she gave me the image. She asked me to wear it in honor of all the women who had come before her into marriage. She felt very strongly about how marriage has changed through the ages and that instead of being owned by a husband, she was to be a partner. I was touched by the thought of the all the women who entered into marriage.

I wore the goddess every time I performed a wedding service in honor of the line of brides going back into antiquity. I felt it when I looked into the eyes of the bride seeing shyness, confidence, fear, wonder, or many other emotions about the changes that were in process as she stood with her husband and repeated the vows that were intended to bond them for life.

Day 158

Interesting day at the center, Refugees from the fire and smoke.  The damp marine layer was fine with them. I admit to wanting sun even if it’s red. Hollie came to visit and seemed interested in coming again. It would be a good fit for her and I’d like to see her get out of the trailer part of the time since nothing is happening about her house. Today at the museum, we may see the same people looking to fill their time.