Last Day

Last Day

So I misnumbered a few days, I’m not going to fix it nor am I going to fix any unfinished business, miscommunications, or misunderstandings. All over. It has been a year with times of fun, socializing, service, new people, new skills, using old skills in new ways and enjoying every day. The glitches: hamstring strain that is still a bother, a cold that won’t go away, and seasonal depression. Best things: Tea and stories group and the art for vets group. Good-bye eighty-three.

Day 354

Fresh wind on the walk but, oh my, it felt so good to strut around the block. It’s wet again this morning with a ten day forecast. I’ll meet the two vets who missed the museum trip and give them a readers’ digest tour. First, a quick trip to the store looking for fortune cookies to use as a writing prompt for the class later. It’s editing day and that can be stressful so I have planned a little diversion with the cookies.

Day 353

Good time with Rosalie yesterday. Lunch and a trip to the beach, and lots of meaningful conversation. Her book is almost ready for editing and she will let me read it soon. Then Tea and Stories where we read our prompt: What is strength? We always learn something new about each other. I had one cold walk. Today is CofC duty, probably quiet again, and maybe the afternoon will be okay for some yard attention. There are some brave  sprouts in the greenhouse.

Day 352

Lunch was okay in a crowded noisy place. I like the Thai food at Sea West more than this new restaurant. Eileen’s long years of making jewelry have worn out parts of her body and have made it difficult to work more than a couple hours a day. She has reconfigured her Gasquet home to make an AirB&B for income. It is a profitable use of what she already has. We talked for three hours with plans to see each other more often.

What is strength, in my opinion.
First thought: Ben Gurion and Gold Meir.
These were two of the midwives to the infant country of Israel. They saw the idea turn into reality as the League of Nations granted the land to Jewish people. They were surrounded by countries that hated them and wanted to wipe them off the face of the earth and they not only survived but thrived. They declared themselves an independent nation and drew immigrants from all over Europe. The ragged masses of Jewish people who had been reviled, crowded into ghettos, families murdered, came to the homeland swelling the population with energy and commitment to grow into the nation that exists today.
The people are always on the alert and prepared to defend themselves and their country. No other people have the history of oppression that the Jewish people have endured.
I remember the joke after the Six Day War that Arab tanks had back up lights. Israeli tanks did not.
The 1976 Raid on Entibbe was one of the most audacious and successful military rescues of all time. It is worth researching.
This ethnic group has done more good for the world than any other people in the history of the world.

Day 351

Hollie and I had a fine day together. Glasses ordered, list filled followed by our favorite Szechwan lunch at Chan’s. I think about Kim when I eat there. He liked the food and always took home an extra meal. First today I’m getting my routine back with exercises and walking. I need the mat and the stretching. Later, I’m having lunch with Eileen at the new Thai restaurant. She has changed her life style and I’m interested in how it’s working for her.

I talked about Kim and my tea cup suddenly slid across the table. I said how are you doing?

Day 350

Ah yes, massage! What a blessing to have my body balanced and warmed by hot rocks. Linda Segura came over later to talk about a church incident. She needed to talk and I listened. All is well. Today Hollie and I will go to Brookings. I’m going to pick out new glasses as I have enough correction to make a difference. It won’t help with the floaters but will help with distance clarity. Then the dispensary for CBD oil and plus one oil.  

Day 349

Fr. Tom gave his usual social justice sermon and I like his vigor. He has an authentic presence. Delia’s party was full of relatives and sugar. Two fancy cakes plus cheese cakes and four kinds of ice cream. She was her dramatic self like an officious six year old. Had a chance to catch up with Deb Parks and invited her to tea and stories. I would like to know her better. Today, Karen is back from Hawaii and I’ll get a massage.

Day 348

The Vets again were the best part of the day! What an amazing group of people and the writing is inspiring. This opportunity has been such a gift. Then the groceries. Not much fun after the two hours with the writers. Today I will attend church as it  has become my place, my other family. Later, Delia’s 65^th birthday party. The Safford family always goes all out with a big fun party. The long hanging on cold symptoms are finally leaving my body.

Day 347

About 2 PM yesterday there was a lull in the rain and I took off for the store. Then it came down again with hail and wind too. I was invigorated. Someone offered a ride and I said NO, I’m enjoying the weather. Home soaked and cold but it was worth getting outside. Today I will stock the refrigerator. Most of my diet is vegetables, so I shop often to keep fresh food. Later, the writing class which has become my favorite time.

Day 346

CofC duty today after I get the dogs back from their spa date. May make a peanut butter run to Walmart, or not. It’s cold and wet and it’s getting to my bones. The old insult to the hamstring is still coming up with aching and restless sleep. Yesterday I planned for tomorrow’s writing group and will ask them to personify their characters subjectively. I will take a bag of chocolate as this is the part of the process that can be frustrating.

Day 345

Yesterday was flat. Watched a lot of reruns while noshing on hummus and pretzels. Nothing done around the house and no outside activity at all. Once in a while it’s okay to have a day with any product at all. My work ethic shudders at the thought but I do occasionally slack off.  It is windy, wet, and cold out and warm and comfy inside. I got the tax stuff taken care of and will get a refund due to expensive cottage maintenance

Day 344

I had a cold brisk walk before the meeting. The BOS was interesting. The dam removal is complicated and after the presentation I understand it more. Later, Ann and I had lunch at Christina’s and that was good. She is my long ago neighbor on Rudisill Road and I always sit with her at the meetings. It’s still cold and wet but not as windy. Don’t know if I’ll get out or not. Could use groceries. Started writing in my paper journal again.

Day 343

Gale windy night. Some banging around that disturbed the dogs. I had a brisk walk yesterday. I was feeling dull and the wind certainly took that away! The Dem meeting was full of information. There is so much going on politically and I focus on right here and now. We are already talking about the election next year. Certainly change is needed. It is cheering to have so much positive energy. Today is Board of Supervisors meeting and I’m guessing, a long agenda.

Day 342

Two quick step walks after church were all the activity yesterday. I enjoyed Rev. Mary’s service. She drove through a blizzard from Ashland. Hollie was out of power and freezing. Megan was stuck in Arcata because of the snow. Don’t like the cold but I was warm and had electricity. Today I’ll line up the income tax information for my accountant. My habit is to get that done before my birthday. Might find another place to sort and purge. It’s wet and windy.

Day 341

The museum trip was a success for the writers. They were amazed by the collection and the resources. Everyone just jumped in and worked. I’m enjoying this experience.  Megan didn’t get home because of the snow so her dogs visited and had a conference by the heater. I don’t like this cold . We live here because we don’t like snow! I will go to church today. I didn’t go last week as I didn’t feel well enough to get up and dress.

Day 340

I did get two good walks yesterday. They were the best part of the day. The CofC was slow and boring. After straightening up the displays, there was nothing to do. I had a couple of conversations with the Chief and that is always fun. Today the writing group is coming to the museum for a tour and research for their short stories. They have questions and specific interests. Karen and I should be able to aim them at the resources they need.

Day 339

I appreciate the tea and stories group for the laughing and sharing. Delia is so dramatic while she acts out her story. Laurie brings cookies and descriptive writing, and Karen brings photos of her new grandson. Carol loved her photos. We move along in our lives together. Today is duty  at the CofC and it will probably be slow again. I enjoy being part of the group there too. It’s cold out but not wet and maybe I’ll get a longer walk today.

Day 338

Yesterday was the best one this year! In spite of still having a bit of congestion, I accomplished all the errands, shopping and weeding that needed to be done. This morning the dentist will take care of the cavity. Later the tea and stories group will come for our writing and catching up on our lives. Karen will have photos of hew new grandson and Laurie will fill us in on her activities. I appreciate our deep sharing based on trust and acceptance.

Prompt

Do you prefer sunrise or sunset?

Between Halloween and Valentines’ Day, my light starved spirit celebrates any morning when the sun can appear over the hills. As soon as the light changes, I am at the window waiting for the first rays to pierce the winter sky. Here comes the sun repeating in my mind and occasionally comes out as a hum or a song. As the sky brightens, so does my spirit and I smile.

In my whole life I have been at my best in the morning. I wake up ready to take on the day with energy. Once I’m awake I’m rarin’ to go and jump out of bed with enthusiasm. But please don’t expect anything from me after about 8 PM!

Once I spent a weekend taking a painting class at Mendocino Art Center. As dusk approached, the residents headed for the cliffs carrying their wine glasses and with lots of laughing and calling out to each other, they move along. Everyone has their eyes on the dropping sun. The closer it came to the horizon, the quieter the group became until it was totally still. Not one sigh or clinking glass could be heard. Then, the sun was gone and a cry of delight, celebrations of the end of another day comes from the crowd and they all turned and went back to their homes. I witnessed that twice and was pleased to be part of a community ritual.

Day 337

I wasted yesterday. The spirit was willing but the body was not. Just a low spell again. I want my robust energy back. Best thing: a bowl of ben soup and since it was the last of the freezer containers now there is a crock pot full of smoked ham hocks and beans. Bean soup is my go-to when I don’t feel energetic. The broth feels like a blood transfusion. Today I’ll get to the necessary errands and house work. It’s all good.

Day 337

The dentist said age-related gum recession and the need for sensitive tooth paste. All roots and teeth are okay except for a tiny cavity that will be fixed later this week. I walked home in a hail shower. Later snow again and the house is cold this morning. Hope the freeze didn’t get the lemon trees. They are too big to cover. Today is a trip to Big 5 for new walking shoes and slippers. I could always dust and sweep or not

Day 335

Monday again. Cold out. Maybe snow. Only item on the agenda is a visit to the dentist. Nothing much going on. The dogs were restless in the night. Don’t know what was bothering them. I watched the last ten minutes of the Super Bowl. I’m not a football fan but was weary of Lion in Winter on TMC. I always root for the underdog and the favored team won anyway. Later this month spring training will begin and I am a Giants fan.

Snow on the skylight

Day 334

Groceries but not farm visit yesterday. The class was amazing again. They produce such interesting writing. The planning is stimulating and my mind is working well.  Next week we will meet at the museum for a tour and research writing. I’m sure it will be another remarkable experience. I may go to Morning Prayer today. Then maybe catch up with Hollie if she feels well enough. Already have the orchids watered and the kitchen slicked up. Maybe the weather will allow a walk.

Day 333

Didn’t connect with Hollie yesterday. She got sick at school and went home. The CofC was slow and I came home early .It’s blowing and cold this morning. The big event for today is the writing class. I’m ready with a lesson plan for character sketches and writing dialogue. I look forward to the group. Might make it out to the farm as I want to give them check. The weather is turning colder so I want to be sure I have groceries.

Day 332

January left with a blast of domestic energy that was welcome and necessary. I cleaned the little yard of pruning and weeds. Had a couple of walks that were almost the usual pace. No snail races were lost! Feels good to be back in my body. Today is duty at the CofC. It will be slow and I will show up and do what I’m asked to do. Later Hollie will come after work. I like her visits and a catch up time.

Day 331

Amazing how good the smallest meaningful activity feels after a month of slow and unwell days. I actually walked to the store and brought home four items that I needed. I’m on the way back to my usual healthy state. Today I want more and will remember that I had two relapses because of eagerness to be well. Rain is coming and I want to work outside today. Always lots to do in the yard, The joy of home ownership! Onward and upward.

Day 330

The doc says my vision is stable and the surgery isn’t necessary. I need new glasses. These are four years old so a change will help. I came home with a headache that didn’t go away. A nap didn’t give me back energy to fill the agenda. Hoping to get moving  and feel like doing all the errands and shopping I need. Had a good visit with Megan. I like her work stories and keeping up with her studies for the CPA exam.

Day 329

10K steps yesterday! First time in 2019. I’m slow but I kept going as I want my normal routine again. This morning I see Dr. E, and have my eyes dilated for the once a year thorough exam. He will recommend surgery and I will ask a ton of questions because I want to know how many trips to Ashland are involved. It’s not manageable now. Groceries next and then fill the green bin with weeds. Time to plant seeds in the greenhouse.

Day 328

Two walks yesterday and better than the day before. That’s all I’m asking is improvement. Today I will go to museum to firm up the visit by the writing group for research. I have asked them to have a county background in their stories.  Most of them have not been to the museum so we will start with a tour. I want to get out in the yard and take advantage of the dry spell to get weeds down and prune the trees.

Day 327

I didn’t get to the farm but did drive the car on the highway to warm it up. The class was remarkable. They just gobble up the new ideas and off they go. Next week we’ll work on character sketches and writing dialogue. I was tired and shaky afterward. I simply am not regrouping my energy and it bothers me to quit before I’m ready. Today after church, I am planning to walk and rest. I need my simple routine and more sunshine.

Day 326

My duty only lasted two hours and I had to come home. It was okay as there were few visitors. I had to sink into the comfort zone and rest yet again. Later I had a walk around the block. I want my energy back. I want to resume my activities. The lesson plan for the writing group is from prompts. I look forward to meeting with them. Maybe I’ll go to Ocean air farm stand this morning. I like their fresh produce,

Day 325

The stories were wonderful, enjoyable, stimulating  and what I love is the vast differences in how we answer the prompts. Yesterday I had a walk, met Linda Lee and had a great conversation about church and Mary Oliver. I loaned her a book of favorite poems. Cleaned out the greenhouse and planted lettuce seeds. It felt good in there with the sun on it. Maybe the seeds will have enough warmth to sprout. Long e-mail from Angela that I will answer this morning.

Day 324

Yesterday I did three weeks of housework, and pruned the Bird. This was followed by a three dog nap and a quiet day. Every day I feel a bit better and am looking for 100% again. Today I will finish writing the prompt and get the house ready for my writing friends. I look forward to our time together. The sharing is deep and meaningful. I may do a little grocery shopping. The dogs need a cauliflower. The days go by too fast.

The little things that make life worth living   

Waking up smiling with my version of up dog and down dog to wake up my body.

Waking up with Minnie nuzzling my hair and licking my face. I reach for her silky fur and feel her warmth.

The first cup of coffee. I set up the coffee maker before I go to bed and push the button before I feed the dogs. Then, ah, sit down and enjoy the heat, the aroma, and the first sip. I thank myself for it.

Smiles. Whether  giving or receiving, a smile can make me feel connected to the other person. It’s an exchange of energy.

Meaningful conversations. Whether it’s a brief catch-up and hug, spontaneous meeting or a sit down to find out how our lives are working out.

Soup. I love making soup and I love eating soup. My favorite is bean soup. The broth feels like it runs around in my body and makes me happy.

Service. Using my time and skills to help out in any form is worthwhile.

Weather. I love weather and following the science of forecasting.

Dog excitement The greeting from the dogs when I have been out of the house even for a few minutes.

Poetry although Mary Oliver is my favorite, I also like others like Wendell Berry

The warm spot in the bed after getting up at night.

Day 333

Yes indeed, yesterday was normal activity and I smiled and loved every minute. I have a home agenda for today: cutting the Bird of Paradise that is against the house,, planting carrot and beet seeds in the greenhouse, looking in the little yard but I’m not sure I want to tackle the weeds yet. Inside, dust and sweep. That should fill my desire for a healthy day. I am writing the meaningful  prompt for tomorrow’s Tea and Stories group. It’s a gratitude list.

Day 332

Karen used hot rocks and put her singing bowl on my back. I could feel the vibrations through my body. I slept well and today I’m rarin’ to go. It’s BOS and Sally says there will be a surprise. Don’t know what to expect but I’m guessing it has to do with Gitlin. The storm broke part of the greenhouse. Art will come to fix it and I can get busy with planting seeds. It’s time to think about digging in the dirt.

Day 331

Woke up ready for today. I was dull yesterday and had a problem paying attention to the church business but was revived by lunch. Hot food is the best way to beat the coldness that is part of this illness. Today I’m going for a massage with Karen and I’m looking forward to hot rocks! That part of her routine makes my body feel warm to the bone. The rain may be gone and I need to walk. It’s not a bad addiction.

Day 330

Poor sleep and feeling ill.. This is lasting too long and from reports I’m guessing I’m not alone. Lots of similar symptoms are going around and the time frame seems to be three weeks. The writing group was great! I enjoy the people and the work. They gobble up everything I offer and are ahead of what I had planned. That will keep me sharp to keep them interested. Fr. Tom will be at church and I will go plus the annual meeting.

Day 329

While the dogs were at the groomer, I realized how empty the house is when they are gone. Sometimes I wonder if I want the responsibility like a big vet bill or a mess, but the greeting when I come home is worth the trouble. Jake spins, Della wags her whole body, and Minnie vocalizes her delight that I’m back. Except for checking the mail box, I was inside all day again. Today is the writing group and I’m looking forward to it.

Day 328

I found mail at Carol’s and took it to the post office for forwarding. In my mind I asked Carol to look for Mary Oliver. They are both nature poets and Carol added photography to hers. I miss them both. My dogs go to the spa this morning and I will grab some groceries so I can stay inside again. I’m looking forward to a dry spell next week. I should be healthy by then and ready to have my simple life restored.

Day 327

Best sleep in two weeks! Only woke up coughing once. Maybe today I will have a bit of energy for a normal  routine. I called Sarah and told her that I put my dress back in the closet. There is no way I would be able to enjoy the festivities on Saturday night since I fold up at 7 PM and go to sleep. I found an easy to understand short story form. I’m going to write one as an example. Good progress.

Day 326

The weather will make it easier to stay in and rest. I did get two brief walks yesterday and enjoyed every step. In the night I thought of a lesson plan for the writing group that will help with the creative part. Now that they are all writing, I want fleshing out with adjectives and adverbs. I found a list of rules for writing quotations and will find short story form today. The group is stimulating and it’s good to snap the synapses.

Day 325

I did the errands, plus getting dog food at the tractor store and was out of energy by 10 AM. Sank into the chair again until time for the committee meeting. The group is interesting and full of information so I want to participate although I was yawning by 6:30. Sometimes all I do is listen and learn. Today I want an early walk before the weather settles in. Maybe I will get a few weeds in the green bin. I need activity.

Day 324

Two short walks yesterday! Felt good to be outside. Went to GO to get a cauliflower for the dogs. Better sleep and today I am ready to tackle the list of errands and shopping. If energy lasts I’ll get to pruning the rose bushes and the lilac bush, maybe the pear trees too. Don’t want to overdo and sink back into the chair. I have a bag of towels to take to the marine mammal center, plus paying a bill, and getting groceries.

Day 323

No walk yesterday. No energy and generally unwell. Darn it all, I have things I want to do. The writing group was inspiring and engaging. The writers were open and sharing with laughter and appropriate support. I look forward to going again. Today I’m inside for resting as I must get over this bump in the road. I may find sorting or straightening tasks anything to be quiet and busy. Might be a file in the drawer that could use a clean out.

Day 322

I’m still not well and tired of it all. I was mildly productive yesterday by pushing buttons on the dishwasher, washing machine, and the dryer. It’s a start toward regular daily life. Today I will meet with a new writing group. I don’t know them yet and wish I had my energy back. Maybe later I’ll get a walk around the block. I need to move. I’ll check in at the museum and see what’s going on there. I miss participating with volunteering.

Day 321

Another day at home. No volunteer duty with this cold. Yesterday I had company for a while and that was a pleasant break from sitting with dogs while coughing and sneezing. I leafed through the prompt book hat Carol’s daughter gave me for ideas for the tea and stories group. Hopefully we will all be back together in a couple of weeks. I miss my friends. The chicken soup will last another day. Maybe I’ll feel like getting more Ocean Air oranges tomorrow.

Day 320

Coffee is having a hard time getting through the cobwebs of a restless sleep. I hoped to start today in a normal way but I’ll have another quiet time with blanket and dogs. Maybe tidying up can happen and will be welcome. I don’t like seeing dust and not doing something about it. I haven’t written anything new and didn’t write the last prompt Carol gave us. Kind of a flat spot from seasonal depression, the leg strain, and now this persistent cold.

Day 319

Better night and a quiet day coming. Hope to break the cold so I can get back to normal. I will get the BOS notes sent early and that’s the only task at hand. I want to get out in the greenhouse as I have seeds for the winter planting. I’m late getting them in and hope the carrots and beets can get started. I weeded last week and pulled out the old tomato plants. I like being there with dirt and peace.

Day 318

Yesterday was okay. Took care of essentials. I did get out for a slow walk and enjoyed it. The night was restless and sick. I can’t go to the BOS with a cough. I’d get dirty looks from Chris. I can follow on the computer and do my duty. Wrote a lot in my journal about the recent losses. Story group wants to remember Carol with anecdotes. She added so much with her humor, her photographs, and prompts. Group won’t be the same.

Day 317

I did go to church and I’m hoping it wasn’t a selfish thing to do as I was sicker later in the day. Just can’t get warm and stay warm without piling on blankets and dogs. Today I must do the Walmart run-through as my list won’t wait for the cold to go. More messages from Randy. I wish I wasn’t uncomfortable with his attention but long history makes me wary. He wants to go to lunch and tell me about his angels.

Day 316

The barometer dropped as low as I’ve ever seen it and the wind blew shrieking, pounding, and breaking limbs. After a long sick day came a long sick night. I’m guessing today will be home and quiet as much as I would like to go to church for Epiphany.  I’ll decide later. Being so sick feels like a failure as I like to think my immune system is strong. I have a full agenda for tomorrow and I want to get things done.

Day 315

The CofC was quiet and mostly conversational. I enjoyed the time to visit. Later I walked to SeaQuake to have a lousy expensive lunch with Karen and Rosalie. At home the cold symptoms settled in. I have ducked it for a week or more and now I have to admit it. Stormy today and I will not get dressed. I have soup and other quick foods and will be prepared if the power goes out as it often does with a wind storm.

Day 314

Karen used her hot rocks to melt my cold body and I felt better when I came home. Ready for bed early and then restless poor sleep. I’m tired and I have a long day coming up. First the CofC and it will be busy due to the gov’t shutdown. At least, I can tell people about hiking now. Later, I’ll meet Karen and Rosalie at SeaQuake for a late lunch and conversation. Angela e-mailed her deep sadness. I sent her warm hugs.

Day 313

Dona died. Laurie said it was a beautiful experience. I cleaned out the greenhouses yesterday and found a bit of interest in winter planting. Bought carrot seeds to add to the beet seeds and spinach too. I will plant. Need something growing and thriving. Today I am feeling kind of woozy. Mild headache and lack of motivation. The mat is calling and I’m not answering. Later I will walk to Karen and hope her magic massage helps. I don’t like this limbo existence.

Day 312

I wrote a couple of pages in the journal. Felt like reconnecting with an old friend. I do release a lot of feelings onto paper that I don’t have an ear to tell. Laurie and Travis are sitting with Dona as she passes. Her last few months have been in fast decline. So goes another friend of long standing. It’s a reality at my age that I will lose peers. The highlight from yesterday was a beautiful calm warm walk to Battery Point.

Day 3111

I’m sore from the house cleaning and walking yesterday. It was the most work I have done in two months. Then I sat and watched a Street Outlaws marathon. Today I have the usual self-request to write in the paper journal. I start out well and then drop it again. Looking at old journals makes me wish for the same interest that I used to have. They are fun to read with poetry, pictures and drawings. I do keep the daily log routinely.